


Ruins

by Squibbles94



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Canon-Typical Violence, Character Death, Complete, Demons, Dreams and Nightmares, F/M, Feels, Fluff and Angst, Inner Dialogue, Nightmares, POV Dean Winchester, Past Abuse, Protective Dean Winchester, Protective Sam Winchester, Reader Is An Eventual Badass, Reader-Insert, Slow Burn, Sorry Not Sorry, Tags May Change, There is a moment of implied intention for non-con, Torture, Violence, mother is a psycho, reader is a badass
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-08
Updated: 2018-06-28
Packaged: 2019-05-19 14:33:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 26
Words: 42,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14875586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Squibbles94/pseuds/Squibbles94
Summary: You are captured and tortured by a demon. Things get rough when he starts asking you questions about your mother.This is set in late-ish Season 7. I know the boys didn't have the Impala around that time, but I said to hell with it and gave them Baby anyway. #SorryNotSorry





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone. This is my first work and I honestly have a slight idea where it is going but so far it has taken on a life of it's own so we will see what happens. If there is anything that you find that needs to be edited please let me know. Comments and suggestions are always welcome. Enjoy the crazy ride <3

The scent of blood and rust assault your nostrils. There is a stabbing pain in your cheek and your temples are throbbing. Peeking through your eyelashes, you notice that it’s dark. The darkness that greets you is a suffocating darkness. The kind where you feel as if there could be someone standing next to you and you would never know. The kind that sent shivers up your spine because it gives you no inclination of where you are or what time of day it is. You snap your lids shut hoping you are just dreaming and that you are not in your worst nightmare. There was no way that you could actually be in this situation, it had to be one of your messed-up dreams.

Cautiously, you move your hands to feel your surroundings to make sure that you’re still safe in your bed. You weren’t. Your arms move a few inches before they are held back by something around your wrists. They cut into your skin before you realize it, making you hiss in pain. How you did not feel the heavy metal that bit your skin before now is a mystery to you. Maybe it was sensory overload and one thing was coming to you at a time. Is that a thing? It has to be a thing. 

You become keenly aware of just how much metal there is around you. It’s around your wrists and under your body, which is faintly numb for some reason. Are you cold? Yep, definitely cold. You try to remember what you were wearing last. Did you have a jacket or proper pants on? Were you wearing anything that should give you an ounce of warmth? You search your memories and come up blank. Maybe you were drugged, and it caused your senses to dull and for some reason your memory to become sludge. You decide to find out how much leeway you have with these chains. They clinked loudly as you move your arms out an infinitesimal distance from your body before they stop. Perfect.

Your legs feel heavy, so you try to raise them off the metal slab. They don’t move. You will them to move for what seems like forever. Just one leg or even just a foot would suffice in telling you if those are tied down as well. Nothing. You feel your legs, you feel the cold underneath them, but you can’t move them. Definitely drugged, you conclude.  
Your legs are bare you realize with a jolt. The cold is too sharp to have any cloth between them and the metal below you. You can tell that you have something on because your upper thigh is warmer than the rest of your leg. You try to control your now erratic breathing to maintain some semblance of calm. What the hell is going on?

You hear footsteps from somewhere in the distance. They fracture the delicate silence that surrounds you, making you jump. There is a chance that this is someone who could help you out of this mess, but you had a sick feeling that your luck was not good enough for that. You stop moving, close your eyes, and put your head to the side. Maybe they’ll think you are still passed out and they’ll go away. Maybe this will give you a chance to escape.

Without a sound, a door opens to your right. There is a light that shines through the door, but you can’t tell if it is from natural light or not. All you know is that it is bright as it filters through your eyelids. You concentrate on not moving a muscle, as you keep your breathing even and strain your ears for the slightest indication of movement.  
You hear soft breathing. It sounds controlled, so you know the person was not startled by the sight of you on the cold slab. Slow footsteps sound around the room letting you know they are coming closer. The steps are methodical as if the owner had all the time in the world. This person did not haste in walking toward the bed, which meant they knew you were there. Captor. Not savior. You try to keep your breathing even and not let that crushing realization make your body react and give you away.

“I know you are awake”, a deep gentle voice spoke next to your ear. “Please open your eyes and we can have a nice conversation. I don’t want to hurt you, but I will, if the occasion calls for it.”

You keep your eyes shut and try to seem like you’re sleeping. How could he know you were awake? It must be a trick. Some way to make you open your eyes so he can start doing whatever it is he wanted to you. 

“The longer you wait to give me answers, the more fun I will have. Trust me, I will make you talk. One way or another, I will get what I want. I do so hope you let me have some fun, but there is a standard I must live by. So, I will give you a chance.” He purred. His breath hitting your neck, left you chilled to the bone.

A few seconds pass, and you hear a small sigh. You feel a sudden sensation of cold on your leg followed by an intense burning. Your eyes fly open, the light blinding you temporarily. Blinking, you examine your leg for the source of the burning to find a long gash running down your thigh. Blood is pouring out of the wound and starting to pool on the table. 

“Ah, there you are. Now we can have a nice conversation. Are you going to speak with me or should I just...”? Licking his lips with hunger, he reached down, and you feel your hip start to burn. 

“Stop!” you scream. “I’ll tell you anything you want. Just … please stop.” You feel warm tears drip down the side of your face from the pain. You try to hold them back, so you don’t give him the satisfaction of seeing you cry, but it does no good. Your breathing hitches, and you have to force the breath out of you. When you inhale, it come in short gasps. Okay, you’re freaking out, but what else could you do?

You look at him and see that he is an average looking man in his mid-thirties. He is standing over you with a smile on his face. He looks as if he is gazing at a work of art, calmed by the image before him. He has short cropped black hair and is clean shaven. Honestly, if you were not in this situation, you would think that he was handsome, but the searing pain in your body leaves you with nothing but contempt for the man. He blinks his brown eyes and they flicker black in an instant leaving you feeling lightheaded.

“Now, that’s better. Let’s begin,” he declares.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Trigger Warning**  
> Non-Con elements in this chapter. No rape occurs so there is that. I don't know what triggers everyone has, so I just wanted to make sure y'all know that there is stuff going to happen.  
> Also, more torture.  
> Also, Also, let me know if there is anything that needs to be changed or anything that is not working. Still getting the pace down.

Your body is in agony. You have several cuts all over your body and bruising where he hit you in your ribs and face. You feel your right eye swelling as you fight to control your sobs. There has to be some broken bones in you somewhere. You don’t know how long he has been torturing you, but you know that it feels like forever. 

He keeps asking the same question over and over, but you still give him the same answer that you gave the first time he asked. “I don’t know anything.” It feels like the mantra of your being as he keeps slicing and punching. 

“I will ask you again. Where is your mother?” he is calm as he asks me for what feels like the hundredth time. 

“I don’t know. Please, I already told you … she disappeared when I was 19. I haven’t heard from her… in 5 years.” You gasp, hoping that it will finally end the pain. You don’t know how many more times you will have to tell him this before he believes you, but you hope it isn’t much more. You don’t know if you can handle more of this. 

He sighs with contentment and picks up a blade. He is getting off on this. It is covered in so much of your blood that you can no longer see the chrome shine when the light hits it. 

“No! Please, I’m telling the truth!” you scream. You try to struggle but it’s no use. Your body is too broken and tired to give you a fighting chance. You hear your ear-splitting scream as you feel the pain in your shoulder. He plunged the knife into your skin with no remorse, making you feel like passing out. He twists the blade and you scream again before everything goes black. 

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The first thing you feel is the pain all over your body when you come back to consciousness. There is an intense pain in your shoulders and wrists along with the stickiness that you know is blood covering most of your body. You don’t feel yourself lying on anything, so you must have been moved somewhere else. You feel stone under your feet and realize that you are hanging by your wrists from something tall enough to leave your feet barely touching the floor. Is it the ceiling? The thought crosses your mind before you realize that it doesn’t matter what you are hanging from. All that matters is that you’re still in this shitty situation. 

You open your eyes and look around the chamber. There is a faint light coming in under the door helping you see your surroundings. You don’t see anyone, so you glance around the room to try to find out where you were being held. The room has stone walls and no furniture or windows. It doesn’t look like the kind of place that you would see in a normal house, but who knew, maybe you found yourself a freak of nature that liked to tie people up in his basement.

Looking down at yourself and see all the blood. It is everywhere, making you feel slightly dizzy. You also notice that you have very little clothing on. All you have on are small shorts that don’t cover much of your legs. These are the shorts that you only wear around the house because you don’t like your thighs and have deemed them to be too short for regular people to see. Your chest is bare, which gives you a moment of panic because you are not used to being so exposed. The only time you are ever this scantily clad is when you go to bed, which means you were taken from your room. Okay, it’s a starting point.

Gulping, you try to put as much weight on your legs as possible to lighten the load that is on your wrists. As soon as you put pressure on your right foot, there is a sharp pain that cascades up your calf, making you drop back on your wrists. You cry out in pain before you realize there could be someone waiting for you to wake up. What fun would it be to torture you when you were passed out, right? 

You keep thinking about his eyes. While he was carving you, his eyes would turn black when he was about to hurt you. Maybe it was because he was mad, and it caused his eyes to look like that. Or you are just crazy. There was also the small detail of him asking where your mother was. How did he know who you were? What was he? What did he want with your mother? Was he going to kill you? These are the questions that kept running through your head as you hung there. 

There is the sudden sound of footsteps coming down the hall. Panicking, you barely have enough time to shut your eyes before the door opens. The light shines through but it is muted by the figure standing in the doorway. You hear footsteps that are hesitant, and your heartbeat picks up speed. Is it someone coming to rescue you? Daring to peek out of your eyelids, you see a man standing in front of you. 

“Hello there sleepyhead.” The man says in a light voice. He isn’t the same man that has been making your life a living hell. He is shorter and does not have the same fierceness in his stance. He seems almost timid by the way he is looking around. 

“Please help me!” you beg when see that he is not the same man with the black eyes. Your relief is crushed a second later when he looks around the room and smiles. 

“Good. He isn’t here. Now I can play with you.” His eyes flash with excitement and for the first time you realize that he is holding a long whip in his hand. 

“Please. Please let me go. I won’t say anything, I swear. I already told the other man that I didn’t know where my mother was. Please.” you sob to the stranger. 

He takes a minute to survey you before he blinks, and his eyes turn black, making your stomach drop. “Oh, I don’t care about your mommy. That is all Aelric’s territory and honestly, I couldn’t care less. I heard that he had a sexy young thing here just waiting to be punished.” He spoke with a quick voice almost as if he was afraid of being there too long. “What Aelric doesn’t know won’t hurt him. He probably doesn’t even know all of the things he has done to you. A few more marks won’t make a difference. He took my last plaything and I need some entertainment so that leaves you baby.”

Your breathing becomes panicked sobs when he starts to stride across the room toward you and circle you like he is deciding where to begin. His hand comes up and cups your breast, making you flinch. He moves his hand around your body as he circles you. When he’s behind you, you feel him grab you and pull you against his body. There’s not much of your body that he’s not touching, and you feel his hardness through your shorts, making you feel sick. 

“My, my, my. What are we going to do to pass the time?” he whispers into your ear. “I think I need to warm up a bit before I fuck you until you beg for me to kill you.” Your  
cries are silenced by a thick rope being shoved into your mouth. You realize that it’s the whip that he was carrying when he came in. “This is going to be fun. Don’t pass out now my little slut.” He purred, grabbing your ass before letting you go and taking his whip with him. 

You anxiously wait for something to happen. When it did, you wanted to die. You hear the crack split the air before you feel sharp pain against your back. As you scream, he chuckles. “Scream for me baby.” Crack. “You are getting me harder by the second.” Crack. Crack. Crack.

Eventually the pain starts to dull because your body can only take so much. You feel your eyelids start to grow heavy and want to let them close, but you are scared that if you pass out, you will never wake up, so you try to keep yourself awake by biting your lip. 

The door flies open, causing you to flinch. Seriously? More assholes? You silently cursed under your breath, waiting for whatever was next. You hear hurried footsteps and the sounds of punches landing. You hear a man scream and something thud against the ground. Everything happens so fast that you barely have time to register that the cracks have stopped.  
A few moments pass in silence and you fight to keep your eyes open long enough to see two figures standing to your left. “Son of a bitch.” You hear one of them say before you pass out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there you have it! I am working on the next chapter right now. Suggestions? Questions? I'm not sure when the next part will be posted but it will not be too long. <3


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and Dean. Need I say more?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovelies!  
> I just wanted to say thank you to those who left Kudos, you guys rock.
> 
> I am continuously working on this story because I have some time off for the summer, so yay! I don't have a set timeline for posting new chapters but I will try to make it once a week minimum.

“Dammit!” You wake with a jolt when you hear someone cursing. You snap your eyes open and feel your breathing start to come in pants. The room is blurry, and you realize that you are crying, waiting for the pain to start again. Oh God, you think, please let me die. You whimper and flinch when you feel hands against your face. It takes you a moment to realize the hands are different from those that were touching you what seemed like minutes ago. Did the other guy come back? Are these his hands? No, you think, they don’t feel vicious and they are not hurting you. They seem gentler and more calloused, but you don’t trust them because they have to be a trick. Maybe they are trying to make you lower your guard and something will slip out. Not that you had anything to slip out except your pathetic cries. 

“Hey, can you hear me? I’m not going to hurt you.” A voice asks. It is different than the one you are used to. It is deep and rough but filled with concern, something that has been seriously lacking in recent hours. Your right eye is seriously swollen now, so you can’t see much on that side, especially when your tears betray you and cloud your vision.

You blink the tears out of your eyes and look at the person standing in front of you. He has short cropped dirty blond hair that is gelled into place and a defined jaw that has some stubble but what makes your heart race are his eyes. You anticipated that they were going to be black, just like all the other men in this place, but they weren’t. They are the most beautiful green eyes you have ever seen. Part of what makes them beautiful to you is the intensity that is coming from them. The overwhelming feeling of safety that emanates from them cause your muscles to relax slightly. Your breathing comes easier when you notice they are filled with concern and alive with excitement and adrenaline.  
You try to speak but all that comes out is a whimper when you breathe in too much, causing pain to flash through your chest and back. Trying again, you suck in a little less breath making you speak in small phrases. “Please. Don’t hurt… me.” you almost beg the stranger. You had never begged in your life, then you woke up on that stupid table and couldn’t help melting into a puddle of tears and weakness, but you couldn’t help it. You don’t want to die, and you don’t want to be hurt anymore. You just want to go home to your empty apartment, crawl under your covers and binge watch Netflix like nothing ever happened. 

“Shh, I got you sweetheart. No one is going to hurt you. We’re going to get you out of here.” He whispers. Did he say “we”? You glance over and see another man in the room looking a little bashful, keeping his hazel eyes firmly on your face. He is the tallest person you have ever seen, and his brown hair cascades almost to his shoulders. Damn, these guys could be models. Though he has good looks, there is something about him that is predatory. Honestly, he is just… big. All around, big. Seeing him standing there makes you a little nervous and you furrow your eyebrows, not taking your eyes off him. Noticing your gaze, the short man, could you even call him short, chuckles. “Don’t worry about him sweetheart, we aren’t going to hurt you.” He mumbles to you. “Sam, come help me with these chains.” He calls to the tall man.

They work to get your hands free, working on one arm at a time. You feel the blood circulating in your right arm when the manacle comes off. The left manacle loosens, and you try to support yourself on your feet, knowing that the only thing keeping you up are the cuffs. When your arms are finally free, you feel your legs give out from underneath you but before you can fall, there are arms wrapped around your body holding you up. The pressure of hands on you almost sends you into a panic attack as they graze your wounds, making you cry out. 

Glancing up at the man with the green eyes, you notice that he is staring at you. There is a flash of something in his eyes that quickly disappears and is replaced by worry. He glances down and instantly shoots his eyes away from your naked torso. You are grateful that he is not staring at your semi-nakedness, because how much worse could your day get? “Sam, give me a hand here.” He grunts, handing you gently to the tall man. 

Laying in Sam’s arms, you watch as the other man starts taking off the plaid shirt that was layered over a black tee-shirt. “No!” you scream while trying to back as far away from him as possible, but you are blocked by Sam’s firm hold on you and your lack of strength. You bring your leg up in an attempt to fight off the shorter man, but you barely get it off the ground before it causes you so much pain that you let it fall to the ground. Well, you think, it was worth a shot. “Calm down, I’m just giving you something to cover up with.” The man says in an almost offended tone, holding his hands up in a defensive position, palms facing you. 

Is he telling the truth? Well he did get you down from the ceiling, you fight with yourself. What else could he do that was not already done to you? Well, he could kill you. But he would have done that already. These thoughts flash through your head in a matter of seconds while you evaluate the man.

Slowly, you nod, giving the man permission to touch you. Sam lifts you up into a sitting position and helps the other man put the shirt on you. When they move your arms, you are hit with a flash of pain in your shoulder, where that creep stabbed you. Perfect, you think. How long will it take you to heal? This is going to suck. 

“Dean, be careful.” Sam says when the other man moved your arm too fast resulting in a hiss of pain. “Sorry.” Dean mumbled, adjusting his hands on your forearm.  
When the shirt comes around you, they button it up, giving you some fraction of decency. Your body starts to warm up slowly, giving you feeling in your limbs. You lay in Sam’s arms utterly exhausted. “Thank you.” You whisper, knowing that if they wanted to hurt you, they would have done it already. 

“No problem. Now, how about we get you out of here?” Dean asks you in a hushed tone. You give a small nod before you feel arms wrapping around your shoulders and under your knees. You are lifted in Sam’s arms and he gently carries you through the room. As he walks, you notice that the man with the whip is on the ground, unmoving.  
“Did you get the other man?” You ask in a small voice. 

Sam and Dean share a look that you don’t see. “How many were there?” Sam asks in a soft voice. You feel him tense under you and see Dean hold up a knife that is the strangest knife you have ever seen. “Um. I… I only remember one more.” You stutter. 

“Well, if we see the bastard, we will take care of him. But we really do need to get you out of here, Princess. So just hold on tight to Sammy and we will take care of it.” Dean reassures you with a determined glance.

Having no other choice, you turn your head to rest it on Sam’s shoulder as he carries you. You hear his heartbeat and feel how he is holding you as light as possible, trying not to hurt you more than you are. Dean is ahead of you, knife raised, ready to defend you if necessary. The slight swaying motion underneath you makes it hard to keep your eyes open, so you close them and start to drift to sleep, unable to stay conscious any longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always suggestions are heard and appreciated. How are the chapter lengths feeling? I want to get these chapters out to you but I also want to make sure that I am not breaking up the scenes too much.
> 
> *Flies off to work on Chapter 4*


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovelies,
> 
> Here is the next chapter. I tried out a Dean POV so let me know how it works. I wanted to get his perspective a little and I am honestly just trying it out for the hell of it. I'm taking things in chunks because I want the chapter ends to feel a little organic and not stop right in the middle of a scene. The chapter may be shortish but the meat is good. (Okay I have no idea what that means but here ya go).

Dean’s POV

We get out to the car and I open the door for Sam to put her in the backseat. I help him lay her down, making sure that he doesn’t jostle her too much and wake her up. I can tell that she has been through hell. She has several cuts all over her body and there is no way I didn’t notice that she had barely any clothes on. I wonder what those bastards did to her and why they even had her in the first place. This didn’t make sense at all. She is just a normal girl from the looks of her, but I guess they need to get their fun somewhere.

Climbing inside the Impala, I glance in my rear-view mirror to make sure that she is still asleep. Her face is no longer twisted in pain and she looks almost peaceful. I stare at the curve of her lips, once scrunched in pain, now slightly parted to help her breathe. She is actually pretty hot, when she is not screaming in pain. Not to mention that she fought, admittedly not very well, when we found her. I can respect her spirit, that’s for sure. I didn’t expect that from her after we talked to her friends and they reported that she was a sweet girl that would never hurt anyone.

“Where should we take her?” Sam asks in a quiet voice, looking over at you. “Hospital?”

“No, we should try to patch her up. Anyway, we don’t know who all is after her.” I tell him, knowing that it is probably better to let the hospital look her over, but there is just something screaming in my gut that tells me we need to talk to her and that she won’t be safe away from us.

“Okay, but Dean, she can’t stay with us forever. Eventually she is going to have to go home. You know that, right?” Sam looks intently at me, and I don’t miss the small smirk playing at his lips. Sometimes I swear that kid can be captain obvious.

“Yea, Sammy, I know.” I sigh, staring at the road, hoping we can figure this mess out so she can be safe. I can’t have anyone else die on my watch.

\---------------------------------------

The first thing you notice is the vibration coming from underneath you. You feel the soft leather under your cheek and for a second wonder if you fell asleep on your couch. It is honestly the most comfortable you have felt in a very long time, so you lay with your eyes closed, waiting for sleep to come again. Before it does, you hear voices coming from somewhere close. They pull you back into reality as the memories rush back to you. The black eyes. The cuts. The questions. The hands. The whip. The two men who saved you.

You strain your ears in an attempt to hear what they are saying. You think about opening your eyes and taking a peak at your surroundings but decide that it’s better to stay unmoving. Maybe you can hear what they are saying and get information about who they are and why they were there in the first place. No one was looking for you, or at least they shouldn’t be yet. You were supposed to be on a stay-cation and needed some time for yourself recently. Enough so, that you took time off work and told your friends that your cell would be off. Maybe one of your friends ignored your plea and checked on you. Were these guys the cops?

“What do you think they want her for?” Sam asks in a quiet voice “I mean, they took her from her home, so it had to be her they were looking for. It’s not like they just snatched her up from the street.”

“I don’t know what those bastards wanted with her. We’re going to find out though.” You hear Dean growl. “Let’s just get her to the hotel and we will figure it out from there, okay?”

“Yeah, I hear you. I just kind of wish we could call Bobby or Cas on this one, though.” Sam sounded so sad, and it made you wonder what happened to the people he was talking about.

“Well we can’t. Just leave it Sam.” Dean hisses.

You hear the radio switch on and it is loud enough that it makes you jump and you a squeak erupts from your lips. Timidly, you look up and see Sam turned around in his seat, eyeing you with interest before he glares at Dean.

“Sorry for waking you up, I forgot how loud my music normally is.” Dean calls over his shoulder. “How are you feeling?”

“Like I’ve been tortured.” Dean quirks an eyebrow at your sarcasm. You look at your shoulder, the worst of the injuries, you suffered. It has stopped bleeding for the most part, thankfully. You feel various sensations of burning over your skin and know that you have probably gotten blood on the seats of his car. You will have to clean that later. These guys have already done enough and you hate that you are messing up their car.

“Right. Well we are almost to the hotel Sweetheart, so just hang on for a bit more and we will get you checked out.” Dean glances in the rearview mirror while he speaks, holding your gaze long enough for you to worry that he is going to crash the car. You see speculation and uncertainty in his eyes before he looks back at the road.

“Why are we going to a hotel and not a hospital?” You ask, panic rising in you.

Sam answers you before Dean can get a word out. “Well, it’s hard to explain the kind of injuries you have. Also, we aren’t sure that its really safe for you to be seen right now. We don’t know if they will have someone looking for you.”

I guess that makes sense. You stare at Sam and Dean for a second, calming yourself down. Remember, if they were going to hurt you, they would have done it already. Slowly you nod and put your head back down on the cool seat. You mean to just get the pressure off your head but end up yawning. It doesn’t take long for you to fall asleep again. Before you do, you hear Sam chuckle and a hard smack followed by “Bitch.”

\--------------------------------------------------

_You look around the room to see that you are in the bedroom that has the posters of your favorite band when you were a teenager still. Your bed has that comforter that you begged your mom to get you for ages. The calendar says October 12, 2004. Slowly you come to recognize the date and what it means. Heart pumping, you turn around and dash through your bedroom door. This can’t be happening again, it has to be a dream, you think to yourself._

_“Mom! Dad!” you scream down the hall. Please answer me. Oh God, let them answer. Maybe if I get there faster, I can stop it. You run to the bedroom at the end of the hall, pausing outside. You don’t remember why, but you feel like if you open this door it will hurt you just like it did the first time. You know something happens that you need to stop. What the hell was it? You strain your ears to her any sound inside but come up with nothing but the sound of your heartbeat._

_Lifting your hand to the door, you steel yourself before pushing it open._

_Oh yeah. That’s why this room hurts you._

_Your father is laying in the middle of the floor with blood seeping out of his chest. There are rips along his white dress shirt and one of his shoes are missing. His coat, which he always hangs up when he comes home, is by his side as if he didn’t have time to make it to the closet. You see his chest moving and run toward him falling on your knees. Your hands hover over his body, tears running down your cheeks. “Daddy, what do I do? What happened? Please don’t die. Please” Your words come in rushed sentences leaving him no room to answer._

_When he tries to answer, all that comes out is blood and one strained, barely audible word. “Run.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BOOM cliffhanger. #SorryNotSorry


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huzzah! A longer chapter.

“Hey! Hey, wake up!” You hear a concerned voice almost shouting from above you.

You pry your eyes open and feel your lungs expand with what feels like relief. Your gaze hits green eyes looking down on you filled with worry. “Sorry for yelling, but you were screaming.” He tells you giving you a sympathetic smirk.

“I’m sorry. Just a nightmare.” You mumble.

“After what you went through, it’s expected sweetheart. No big deal.” Dean tells you with a shrug.

You sit up with the help of Dean and look down on yourself. You are laying in a bed and judging by the covers, it is in a motel. You are still in Dean’s shirt and you still have your shorts on, which sends a flood of relief down your body. As you move, you feel pulling on your shoulder and in some places on your torso and arms. You look to find your body covered in bandages and you notice how … clean you look. 

“What? What happened? Did you guys stitch me up?” You asked, surprised by how rough your voice sounds. Well, you did do a lot of screaming. 

“Let’s start easy, okay? I’m Dean and the gigantor over there is my brother Sam.” Dean nods in Sam’s direction where he stands just on the other side of your bed. “What’s your name?”

“I’m Y/N” You tell them. 

“It’s nice to meet you Y/N. Now, lets start with some water and food and then move on to the hard things.” Sam suggests. “I know you probably have a lot of questions and that’s okay, but we should probably make sure that you can handle the answers.”

“Okay. Umm. I have … have to …” You stutter, embarrassed. How are you going to go to the bathroom by yourself? Can you magically walk? Please God let you be able to walk. 

“Oh.” You hear in unison from both of the men. 

“I should probably take a shower as well. Because, you know. Torture.” Honestly all you want to do is sink into a hot bath and let the pain fade.

“Well, we cleaned you up mostly because of the cuts and stuff. But… yea I guess, go ahead and shower and then we can redo the bandages. They need to be changed anyway.” Dean tells you.

“Wait. How long have I been out?” You realize that you could have been sleeping for hours or days and you wouldn’t know either way.

You expect Dean to answer you, but Sam pipes up first. “It’s been about 48 hours. You were pretty tired.”

“Right. Can you just help me up? I think I can do everything else myself when I get into the bathroom.” You look at the ground trying not to make eye contact when you deliver your request. This is so embarrassing.

Dean reaches for you and basically picks you up, only to set you down on your feet. He evaluates you for a second, waiting for you to get your footing, before he lets go. He immediately realizes that it was a bad idea when you stumble and almost fall. He grabs you by the waist and half carries you to the bathroom.

“Thank you.” You mumble as you make it to the bathroom. Looking at the toilet, you groan inwardly. Please, God, no. “Umm … Can you … if you just sit me over there I can manage.” 

Looking a bit uncomfortable with the situation, Dean immediately brings you across the room and sets you down by the toilet. “Alright Y/N, just uh let me know when you are done, and I can come help you.” He tells you before shutting the door behind him, leaving you by yourself.

You fumble around, and it takes you an agonizingly long time to just do a simple task that is usually done in less than a minute. When you are done, you brace yourself and grab the counter. You look down at all of the bandages that are covering you. Maybe you need help taking them off and getting settled into the tub. There is no way you were getting over the lip of the tub by yourself anyway and you don’t think you can reach all of the bandages. 

You are tempted to just call out for Dean but decide against it. You are going to make it out of here by yourself, you vow. You pull yourself up and use the counter to keep you from falling. Everything hurts, but you will not be carried everywhere dammit. You slowly put all of your weight on one of your legs and test if it will hold you. When it does you stumble forward a little. This is going to take forever but you can do it. 

Grabbing every surface, you can, and taking your time, you manage to make it to the door and open it. Dean is right outside of it and raises his eyebrows when he sees you standing at the doorway. You are out of breath and your knees are shaking but you made it to the door. Small victories. 

“So, I just remembered that I don’t have any clothes and … well …” why was this so hard for me to ask for help? “I need some help getting all of the bandages off and getting into the tub.” You look at the ground instead of at the two men.

“Well the good news is that I went to the store and bought you some clothes. Hope they are okay. And hey, don’t be embarrassed to ask for help. Sammy asks for help all the time, the child.” Dean tells you smirking bringing a scoff and an eyeroll from Sam. 

You manage to get into the tub with minimal embarrassment, wrapping a towel around your body while Dean picks you up and places you into the water. When he leaves, you wash yourself making sure that you are careful around your wounds. When you are done he has to help you dress yourself, which is mortifying.   
\------------------------------  
When you get food and clean clothes and bandages, you settle in for what is going to be a hard conversation. They boys tell you that you need to lay low for a while, especially when you are healing, which honestly makes sense, but you don’t like it. After all that has happened, you just want to go back to your normal life and pretend this never happened. You know that is not a possibility and that you are still in danger, so you let it be.

“We can protect you but we need to know why they were after you.” Sam starts off. You figure that he is better with people and from the puppy dog eyes he has, you can tell that most people open up to him.

“I don’t know. The one guy kept asking about my mom though.” You tell him.

“Really? Okay that’s good. What else can you tell me?” Sam asks you with contained excitement. 

You go on to tell him about the horror that you lived through. You don’t leave anything out and when you come to the part about the guy with the whip you stop. You don’t even know how to put it all into words. Eventually with Sam’s gentle prodding, you tell them everything. You see Dean’s jaw clench when you tell them what the man said to you when he put his hands on you. Tears have been slowly building throughout the telling of what happened. Now they flow freely. “If I fought just a little harder, or told them a lie, maybe they would have just killed me. I don’t know how they got into my apartment, either. Maybe I left a window open or the door unlocked. I should have done something.” You find yourself whispering the end.

When you finish, you are looking at the floor because you can’t meet Sam and Dean’s eyes. 

“It’s not your fault.” You hear from Dean. You hear shifting and then a hand settles on your shoulder. It gives you a light squeeze before it’s gone. 

“What did they want your mom for?” Sam tries to get more information out of you in the gentlest way possible.

“I don’t know. I haven’t seen her in five years. I don’t know where she is or what she has gotten into. I don’t really care either.” I tell him in a clipped tone.

“Okay. Well, what about your dad? Would he know?” Sam asks.

“He has been dead for years. I was just a kid when he died.” I tell him.

“What happened?” Sam and Dean ask at the same time. Weird. 

“He was murdered. Someone broke in and stabbed him. I was there and found him. Mom left about three years later, and we never knew who did it.” 

“That’s rough. Sorry.” Dean mumbles to you. 

“What are your parents names? Maybe we can track down something.” Sam asks you.

“Richard and Ellen Y/L/N” you tell them. 

“This helps us Y/N.” Sam tells you with a smile.

“There is something I wanted to ask. The men’s eyes were black. Do you know why?” You ask.

“Well. Here’s the thing. They were kind of … demons.” Sam tells you.

You feel a laugh erupt from your lips. “Yeah, okay. I know that they were creeps but demons aren’t real.” You scoff.

You gazed at the two men and saw that they weren’t laughing. Their faces showed no hint of sarcasm or joking. “Wait. You’re not kidding, are you?” 

“No. I know it’s hard to wrap your head around but there are things out there that are dangerous. But don’t worry, Dean and I handle these things all the time.” Sam tells you. 

“Let me guess. You smelled sulfur and there was no iron anywhere to be seen. Yea they don’t like that much. Also, they don’t have any compassion or mercy, so it was probably just fun for the dickbag who worked you over. Ringing any bells?” Dean tells you in a rushed tone. It’s like he has done this talk many times before and it has gotten old. Maybe what he is saying is true. The person who hurt you had no compassion within him and the room did smell like rotten eggs.

This was way too much. Why would demons be after you or your mom? It’s not like you were important or anything. Something hit you about the man, well demon, that you didn’t think about before now.

“I might have something that can help us out. The guy who had the whip said a name when he was talking about the one who cut me.” I tell them. 

“What was it?” Sam says eagerly.

“Aelric.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How are you guys? I hope you liked it. I don't really like all of the talking and explaining but it's something that needs to be done and plus. Character backstory info. So there is that. I will be working on this until it is finished. I am hoping to update regularly and since I am on break, I have the time. Please forgive me if it takes longer than a couple of days to update. 
> 
> Thanks for reading this far <3


	6. Chapter 6

You realize that no one actually knows who this demon is, when both of the brothers just stare at you. You run through the name again in your brain to make sure you are pronouncing it the correct way. It’s right, so you tell them the name again.

“Yea Y/N, we heard you. We just don’t know who that is.” Sam tells you.

“Well, I guess we need to do some research then, huh?” Dean claps Sam on the back and goes into the bathroom to get ready for bed. Sam has a confused look on his face that you quirk your eyebrow at. Sam just smiles at you and shakes his head. He settles down at the small table with his laptop, presumably to do some research. You woke up hours ago and didn’t do much, but you were exhausted already. Your shoulder throbbed, and you couldn’t wait for it all to heal.

“Oh, hey. I got you something.” Sam tells you tossing you a bottle with pills in it.

“What are these?” You ask him.

“Pain meds. It will help.” Sam smiles lightly as he says this. Somehow you don’t think he got them at a doctor’s office. Unfortunately, your shoulder and various parts of your torso are in pain, so you gladly take them, not asking questions.

After you down the pills, you lay down as lightly as you can. Some of your wounds were still hurting when you put pressure on them. Sleeping was going to be hell, but then again, you did just sleep for two days. Hopefully you can find a good position soon.

The bathroom door opens, and Dean is standing there fresh from the shower with no shirt on. It takes you a moment to realize that you are staring at him. You knew he was strong but seeing his half naked form in front of you is something of a shock. Son of a bitch, he is beautiful. You intently watch a drop of water run slowly down his body when Sam clears his throat to mask a chuckle. You tear your eyes away from Dean and feel heat rising in your cheeks. Oh God, please let no one notice that.

Dean snatches his shirt out of his bag and pulls it on. He reaches over and starts to grab a blanket and pillow from his brother’s bed and lays them on the floor. “What are you doing?” you ask him.

“It’s called going to sleep, Princess.” Dean seemed amused by the look on your face when he said that.

“I mean, why are you sleeping on the floor?” you clarify.

“Well. There are two beds and I gave my bed to Sammy.” A harsh scoff interrupts him. “Okay, I lost the bed. Happy Sam?”

“Wait, how did you lose the bed?”

“I…threw scissors.” He says with a pang of shame.

 “You saved me. The least I can do it give you the bed. Let me sleep on the floor and you can have …”

“Not happening, Sweetheart.” He interrupts you.

“Well, at least share the bed with me then. We are adults. It will be fine, and it will make me feel better.” You tell him trying to get him to make himself a little comfortable to ease your guilt. The poor guy must have one hell of a backache from the hard floor.

He considers it for a second and then climbs in the bed with you. “Don’t think you are going to take advantage of me sister, because I’m a light sleeper. So, watch it.” He tells you with a smirk.

You don’t reply and just lay down trying to get comfortable. Sam and Dean are in between you and the door. This makes you feel a bit safer, but you know how easy it is for someone to lose their life. You hear Sam’s light typing from across the room, so you speak quietly.

“Hey Dean, thanks for getting me out of that place.”

“Don’t mention it sweetheart.” You hear before succumbing to your heavy eyes.

\-----------------------

_Hands are gripping your body. You feel your skin tearing as pain shoots up your body and you hear your screams echo is the stone room._

_“Where’s your mommy?” The voice asks you._

_“Please, I don’t know. I haven’t talked to her in …”_

_Another cut rips through your skin near your collar bone._

_“UGH!” You scream. “I told you I don’t know!”_

_“You know, Ellen has cause me quite a bit of trouble. If you tell me where she is, then I can just make the pain stop, well, on you. I know what she did to you, Y/N. You have no reason to protect her. So why keep fighting me?” Aelric croons._

_“I don’t know what you’re talking about” You lie. There’s no way in hell he knows. He is just messing with you._

_Aelric sighs and reaches for another instrument. When he shows you the heated rod, you start to tremble._

_“Now Y/N, this might tickle a bit.”_

_\------------------------_

Your eyes rip open and you are surrounded by darkness. Your breathing has accelerated to an uncomfortable pant and you are shaking. You reach up and wipe your forehead and your hand comes back wet with sweat.

A hand comes on your arm and you flinch away, turning roughly to fight off whoever it is that is touching you.

“Hey, it’s just me. Are you okay?” You hear Dean’s voice measured and careful but not lacking sympathy and concern.

“I’m fine.” You hear that your voice betrays you when it shakes.

“I can feel you shaking Y/N. You’re not fine.” He tells you in a quiet voice. You feel his hand find your wrist and glide down to your hand. He gives you a firm squeeze and you know that this is his way of comforting you. When you feel his hand, your heart starts to immediately slow down and your breathing comes easier. He starts to pull away, but you cling to him.

“Can … can you just hold my hand for a minute?” You ask him. Fearful that he is going to take away the small comfort that he is providing. His hand tightens on yours and you feel him there, unmoving until you fall into a dreamless sleep.

\-------------------------------

It’s been a week since you were saved by Sam and Dean. You have been cooped up in this motel and not allowed to leave because you are still healing, which is annoying because you are pretty sure that you are going crazy with boredom. You and Dean have continued to share a bed and whenever you have a nightmare, he holds your hand until you stop shaking and can slip back asleep. He never complains when you wake him up with your screaming and Sam doesn’t say anything to you about being woken up, but you know he has to hear you every night.

There is a line of salt in front of the door and windows, which you have learned keeps demons out, among other things. Who knew that a simple condiment would keep demons away? You wonder vaguely whether demons can go swimming in the ocean or if the salt would hurt them.

As you are pondering this, you are staring blankly at the wall. You are stretched out on the bed absent mindedly rubbing your shoulder. It is definitely the worst wound that you got in your torture session and it has been taking a while to heal. Everything else, thankfully, has gone away or reduced to scars that are just a reminder of what happened. Sam is still giving you pain pills to help with the general discomfort.

You have regained the ability to walk without help, thank God. If Dean had to carry you into the bathroom one more time, you were going to shoot yourself. You don’t like feeling like a burden and you know that Sam and Dean are still here because you are useless when it comes to information.

Sam and Dean have been researching Aelric and so far, have some up with nothing. They didn’t recognize the name, so they have been looking through various big and dusty books trying to find any information. Sam has also been looking for your mom. You reassure him every time he talks about her, that you don’t want to find her. You just want everything to be over. Sam reminds you every time that finding her is what will help get your life back to normal.

You don’t realize when the door opens revealing Sam and Dean, flustered and arguing. You are wrapped up in your thoughts when a voice and a hand laid gently on your arm brings you back to reality.

“Hey, breathe. You need to breathe. Blinking would be nice too. Honestly, it’s a little freaky when you do that. What’s wrong?”

You jump slightly and stare into those green eyes trying to figure out what he is saying when it hits you that you are not breathing. This has been happening for the past week. You just stop breathing for long periods of time. It’s not uncomfortable, you just get lost in your head and forget to work your lungs. Somehow Dean always manages to notice and gently coerces you back to reality.

“Sorry.” You mumble. “Just a lot on my mind. Did you guys find anything today?”

Dean glances at Sam for a long moment before turning back to you. “Well, we found a demon that we think can help us find the demon that is after your mom. But we hit a snag.”

It’s just now that you realize the brothers are standing there with flecks of blood on their clothes. You look at Dean a bit closer and see he has a small cut on his jaw and there are red stains on his knuckles. They got into a fight.

“Okay. What’s the snag?”

Sam comes forward and says, “he wants to talk to you.”

“But we agreed that it was not a good idea.” Dean interjects. He is glaring at his brother and you realize that this is what the fight is about. It’s all about whether they let you be exposed to the demon.

“I want to do it.” You say with a hard voice.

“No, Y/N you don’t have …” Dean starts to say, but you cut him off.

“I want to see this demon. First of all, he can help me figure out why Aelric chose to use me to find my mom and where we can find him. Second, I won’t be safe until we get this bastard. And most importantly, I am bored as hell.” You tell him. “I’m going.”

“I don’t like this.” Dean says.

“You don’t have to.” You tell him. You swear there is a hint of something that flashes under the protective intensity. It doesn’t last long, but it looked like fear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are getting into it now ladies and gentlemen. Let me know how you are liking the chapters and the direction of everything. 
> 
> A special thanks to my friend Aslan4King for helping me edit this work. You are a rockstar!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Lovelies! 
> 
> Buckle up!

You are in the back of the impala with a small bag filled with various ingredients that you don’t think you want to know about. Sam gave it to you before you left the motel and told you that it would help keep you hidden. So here you sit supposedly protected listening to the brothers have an intense conversation about how this is going to go down.

“Dean, he is in a devil’s trap. He can’t do anything to her, you’re being ridiculous.” Sam tells his brother.

“I know he can’t do anything but what if something goes wrong?” Dean shoots back.

“Then, we will deal with it. We need this information, and you obviously can’t get it from him with your usual methods, so this is the only card we have to play, and you know it.” Sam replies.

Dean pulls out a silver flask and takes a swig of the alcohol inside. He looks in the mirror at you and reaches his hand back to offer you the flask. You look at him questioningly.

“You’re gonna need this Sweetheart. You look like hell.” He tells you in a matter of fact voice.

You don’t normally drink, but with what you are about to walk into, you feel that you need some liquid courage. The liquid burns as it goes down your throat and you cough while handing it back to Dean. You spot a smirk on his lips before he takes another swig himself and puts it away.

You pull up to a warehouse that is lit only by one streetlight outside the property. There is nothing around for miles, the perfect place for someone to scream and never be heard. You get out of the impala and start walking toward the building, but hand grabs your arm and spins you around.

“What the hell?” you bark at Dean who is standing close to you.

“Here take this.” He shoves a knife in your hand and a different flask than the one he offered earlier. “Make sure you keep these on you at all times. The knife won’t do much, but it can give you a chance to run. This is holy water, if that thing gets out, you throw this in it’s face and run like hell. We will take care of everything else. You still got that hex bag?” You nod yes. “Good. Keep it close and don’t lose it.”

“Are you done? I got it Dean. It will be okay. Plus, you guys will be there the entire time.” You tell him, trying to calm both of your nerves.

Dean looks at you for a few more seconds, his face looks like he is fighting a battle with himself. “Fine. Let’s do this Princess.”

Sam is already almost at the building and waits for you and Dean to catch up. He looks at Dean with a quizzical expression, which Dean ignores walking through the door. Sam lets you go first so you are between the brothers. Safety seems to be something that he always has on his mind, and you are grateful for that, especially when you reach the room that has a man strapped to a chair.

He is bald and looks to be in his late forties with stress lines across his forehead. He is sitting in a wooden chair that is in the center of a big circle with a pentagram. This must be a devil’s trap, you think. When he hears your footsteps, he looks up with a glare. When his eyes find yours, his expression shifts into a smirk as if he won something.

“Ah sweet, sweet, Y/N. Nice of you to join me. I haven’t seen you in ages.” He is looking directly at you when he says this.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know who you are. Have we met before?” You ask him, going through your memories and coming up blank.

“Awe, that hurts me. You don’t remember all the fun that your mom and I had with you? I remember the belt with the studs on them, if we used it in just the right way, you would bleed ever so sweetly.” He licked his lips and closed his eyes, smiling at the memory.

“Hey, watch it!” Dean snarls.

You impulsively grabbed your left thigh at the memory. How the hell did he know that? You feel Dean inch closer to you, like he is trying to shield you from whatever memories are going through your head. “Who are you?” Your voice sounds so small.

“Did mommy have so many boyfriends before me that you can’t recognize me? I will give you a pass this time because I am in a different meatsuit and you were never that bright. Let me see if I can jog your memory a bit. I was probably a nice guy and then I stopped caring and grew my hair out and my favorite thing was to make you cry. Made your mommy scream and didn’t care if you caught us on the kitchen table.”

“Andrew.” You say in a flat voice.

“Ah. There it is. Hello pumpkin.” He sneers at you.

Before you realize what is happening, your feet are moving forward, and you grip the knife in your hand. You run toward Andrew slipping out of Dean’s reach and shove the knife into his chest with a wail escaping your lips. You feel arms pulling you back from the demon, who is laughing.

“Huh, I gotta say Y/N, you have a lot more fight in you than when you were 15. I like that. It makes my meatsuit all tingly. And, I have to admit, maybe I chose the wrong woman in your family.”

“Alright, you got to talk to her. Now, where is Aelric and what does he want with Ellen?” Dean asks, trying to get the demon to spill the information.

Ignoring Dean, Andrew continues. “Did you know that I never made your mommy do any of the things she did? All I did was suggest it, and she wanted to please me so bad that she did it without question. Don’t worry, she was paid well for her services. She is probably even looking for me right now. I can’t wait for our reunion. Maybe we will celebrate by peeling the skin off of your body.”

A punch lands on the side of Andrew’s face. Dean hits him again, and again until Andrew is a bloody mess. “Tell us where he is you dickbag!” He is yelling in between punches.

Andrew laughs as he spits out a mouthful of blood. “Why would I tell you that? This is the most fun I have had in a very long time.”

Dean goes to punch the demon again but is stopped by Sam. “He isn’t going to tell us anything. We might as well just kill him. Or we can send him back to Hell.”

At that, Andrew stops laughing. “You wouldn’t dare.”

“Try us.” Dean says in such a fierce tone, that you look at him wondering if he will sprout black eyes himself.

You stand a little back, watching this unfold, trying to get your hands to stop shaking. You don’t know if it is from fear or anger. Hell, it might be both.

“Let me go and I will give you the address. But I will only give it to Y/N. Which means your services are no longer required here gentlemen.” He tells the boys, locking eyes with you.

“That’s not going to happen.” Sam says matter-of-factly.

As much as this man has done, and how much you hate him, you know that you need him. You have nowhere else to search. You look at Andrew, and then glance at Sam and Dean. “Give me a minute guys.” You tell them.

“Hell no.” Dean rounds on you. “We are not leaving you alone with this dick.”

“Do you have any other way to get the information? Just stand outside the door, and I will scream if I need help. We need to find this guy.” You won’t back down from this and you glare at the brothers to make sure they know this.

Dean stands in the same spot looking at you for an uncomfortably long time. You can see his mind working, trying to get around this but he knows as well as Sam, that this is the easiest way to get the answers. “Fine. But you keep your ass out of that trap and you stay away from him no matter what.” He snaps, handing you the knife that you plunged into Andrew’s chest. “Scream if anything happens. Stab him if necessary. You have two minutes.”

You are left with the demon who made your life hell when you were at home and you knew that you had a limited amount of time before the boys came back. You needed to get the answers, so you could prove that you were not useless.

“We are alone, now where is Aelric?” You get to the point.

“Oh, I was hoping that you would tell me something about your life. Why do you want to find him anyway?” Andrew croons.

“He is trying to find my mother. He used me to get information on where she is. Now, where can I find him?” You ask again.

“Ah. Well the thing is, you don’t want to find him. Do you even know who you are dealing with? He is one of the fiercest demons I have ever come across. Got amazing training, too. Sometimes I envy the bastard. But then, I remember all the fun I get to have with your mommy.”

“Where is he?”

“Don’t you want to know why I chose her? Huh?”

“Where is he?”

“Okay, you don’t have to ask. I will just tell you. I chose her because she was so pathetic and willing to do anything. She had a beautiful daughter that I could play with. It was all very exciting. Even before your daddy died, I was there. You just didn’t know it. You never did find out who killed him, did you?” He raises his eyebrows at you, willing you to take the bait.

“Where. Is. He?” You emphasize each word in an attempt to make your voice sound strong, even though you know it is shaking with agitation.

“You know, no one likes people with a one-track mind.” He sighs. “I don’t know where he is because no one wants to know where he spends his time. But I do know a general avenue you can look. More to the point, the name of someone he trained under. One of his other protegees would know.”

“Who?” you ask, getting tired of him going in circles.

 "Alastair."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will just let you process this now. 
> 
> Thank you to all who have sent Kudos and commented! You guys are awesome!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Lovelies! 
> 
> Here is the next chapter!

You step out of the building letting the cold night air fill your lungs with much needed relief. You can’t stop thinking about everything the demon had said. Why was your mother with a demon, and how long did she know about them? Why didn’t you know there was something inhuman about Andrew when you lived with him and your mother? Was he telling the truth when he said that your mother didn’t need much encouragement to torture you the way she did? Who killed your father? Was it him? Who the hell is Alastair and how many more connections is this thing going to have before you find all the answers? Will you ever get to go home? Will you ever go back to being normal? Do you want to? These are the questions that flew through your mind before Sam and Dean walk up to you gazing at you in anticipation.

“What happened?” Sam asks you, barely containing his enthusiasm.

“Well. I got a lot of answers. More than I think I actually want.” You stare off into the night, looking at nothing. You feel slightly numb by the wave of information thrown at you.

Dean stands in front of you and places his hand under your chin, softly lifting it so you are looking at him. “Y/N, what happened?” he asks with a soft voice, eyes burning with interest.

You gaze into his eyes for a long moment, searching for the strength you will need to tell them everything. “He told me that my mother is still alive and looking for him. He … He used to live with us as her boyfriend. I didn’t know what he was, all I knew was that I hated him. Still do.” Fighting back tears, you continue to the important part of the conversation, knowing that this is not what Dean wanted to listen to. “He gave me a name. He said that if we find this guy’s other apprentices, they can lead us to Aelric.”

“What’s the name?” You hear from Sam.

“Um. Alastair. I think that was it, but what I don’t understand is, why not just find this Alastair guy and ask him?” You wonder aloud.

You look at Dean and see that his jaw has clamped shut and has a look of genuine hatred cross his face. Sam, on the other hand, looks surprised as well as … ashamed. You stare at the two men. Clearly, they know this Alastair and from the looks of it, it’s not under good circumstances.

Dean starts to walk away, and you move to follow him, but Sam holds you back. “Give him a minute.” He tells you. You gaze up at Sam with a confused look and slightly shake your head. Sam just looks away to his brother, who has his hands rested on the back of the impala and it looks like he is breathing heavily. You can see his fists are clenched tightly and his body is tense. Oh, this is not going to be good.  

\--------------------------------------

After Dean calms down enough to join you and Sam, the boys explain who Alastair is. You learn that he is the one who tortured Dean when he went to Hell and convinced him to start torturing souls. It surprised you that they would tell you such sensitive information, but they said that you needed to know what you were getting into and to do that, you needed to hear part of their story.

“So, why not look for him?” You ask again.

“Because he’s dead.” Sam tells you in a matter of fact tone.

“Oh. Well what about someone that trained under him? Andrew said that there was someone who had to know.” You push the boys to find an answer.

“Ugh. Son of a bitch.” You hear from Dean.

“What?” Sam asks, confused.

“Meg.” Deans reply is short, but filled with heavy implications, and it sends a flash of recognition through Sam.

“Meg? Oh, dammit.” Sam sighs.

“I’m guessing, another one of your friends?” You throw your hands up in the air and shake your head. “Do you guys know everyone in the supernatural world?”

Dean completely ignores you. “Alright.” He says running his hand over his face to smooth out the stress that has set in. “Well let’s deal with this asshat before we hit the road and then we can find the bitch.” Dean suggests taking out a knife that had strange writing on it.

You start to follow him and Sam, but Dean turns and stops you.

“I don’t think so sweetheart. You don’t need to see this, it can get a little intense. Just go back to the Impala with Sam and I will be there in two shakes.” He tells you.

“No.” You plant your feet firmly under you, not moving in the slightest.

“Y/N, I’m serious. You don’t need to be in there.” He faces you and gives you a stern look.

“I want be in there.” You say, deciding that you needed to stop being the nice little timid girl if you were going to survive through this. Andrew had broken you into a compliant shell of who you used to be, and you had just started to get back to normal. Taking a deep breath, you are filled with an intense desire to be strong.

“Y/N, you really shouldn’t even be asking this.” Sam pipes up from behind you. “You don’t know where that road will lead, trust me, it’s not anywhere good. Once you’re in, that’s it. No turning back.”

“I’m already in it Sam.” You turn away from Sam and gaze at Dean. “I need to stop being afraid, and this is how. I need to know that he is gone, once and for all. You don’t know what he did to me, Dean. You don’t know how many times, that _thing_ made me want to die. I need this.” Truth be told, you had racked up an extensive amount of therapy bills trying to work through your teenage years. Over time, you had gotten to the point where you could function as a relatively normal member of society, but the memories never went away. Neither did the fear.

He looks intently at you, searching your eyes for answers. He inches toward you, so he is standing so close that you can feel his breath on your skin. You could see the questions burning behind his eyes. “What did he do to you, Y/N?” He whispers.

You look at the ground, not wanting to meet his eyes. Sam and Dean have a silent conversation that you don’t see. You hear a sigh and feel a hand cup your cheek. “Stay behind me and Sam and don’t say anything… I’m so going to regret this.” He says as he starts stalking up to the warehouse.

\---------------------------------

You walk into the warehouse with Sam and Dean in front of you. You don’t tell them that you have a question that needs answering before this happens. They might not let you talk to him, so you are going to have to just ask before they can stop you. You need to know what really happened to your father.

“Back so soon, Pumpkin? You just couldn’t get enough of me, huh?” Andrew croons.

You don’t answer him, just continue walking forward.

“What’s the matter? Ah, you want to hear more about how much I enjoyed using you. I get it. Sometimes it’s hard to let go of the best time of your life, ending of an era and all that.” He smirks at you.

“Oh, I know, I will be reliving this good moment for a long time, you dick.” Dean taunts him.

You stop just outside the devil’s trap, staring at him. Your breathing is calm, the calmest it has been in a very long time. Something inside you screams that if you ask him, you won’t be the same again, but another voice pipes up and reminds you that you are already changed forever. You have been through so many changes through the years, and it all started when your father was killed. The raw emotions that you had to feel, not knowing what actually happened and turning to your mother for comfort only to be betrayed by her. Learning that your mother is mixed up in this dark world, and that she brought you into it when you were younger, just feeds the fire that has started to burn within you. The creature that sits in front of you, is your first step to truly healing, but first you need another answer.

“Who killed my dad?” You ask him in a firm tone.

Dean glares at you but you push on, ignoring his protests.

Andrew studies you for a minute, a smile playing at the ends of his lips. “I knew you wanted to know. Are you sure, though? I wouldn’t want you to get upset, Pumpkin.”

“You know who did it. I want a name.” You growl.

“Let’s play a game, shall we? I will give you a riddle and if you can solve it, you will have your answer. Now, let’s see. ‘Known by two names under one roof, this person carries the world only to leave it’. That should be enough for someone in this room to solve.” He gazes at the men behind you, willing them to join.

You go over the short riddle in your head. He doesn’t give you much to work with, and you are trying your hardest to wrack your brain for an answer. Sam scoffs lightly behind you.

“I thought you were smart. The answer is a mother. She has two names, hers and mom. Mothers also carry babies to term, which means everyone in the world and the leaving it would mean when the child gets old enough they …” Sam stops talking when Dean elbows him.

Your eyes find Andrew’s to confirm if this is the answer. “Remember when I said that I was there before your daddy died? Oh, it was so fun to sneak my way into your mommy’s pretty head and see the hate she had in her. When I saw all that raw potential, I had to play with it. I could have just stayed in mommy, but I thought it would be so much more fun to let her have the wheel. All I had to do was climb in her best friend. I stayed in that cow for a while, just planting some seeds. She did the rest herself and I have never been so proud in my life. It was nothing short of orgasmic to see him choking on his blood, and you running in to help him just made it better. Consider it my first gift to you.” He laughs at his explanation.

Something snaps inside you and you grab the knife from Dean’s hands. Before anyone realizes what is happening, you plunge the knife into his neck, seeing orange sparks coming from the wounds. He shudders and gags before he goes still. You take the knife out of his neck and plunge it into his chest, just to make sure. His body doesn’t move, and it fills you with a sense of peace that is quickly replaced by faint numbness.

Dean reaches around you and seizes the blade. You look up at him and see that he is studying you. There is an emotion that you can’t identify hiding behind his eyes, but you can see that he is impressed.

It takes you a minute to realize that you just killed someone. You actually stabbed someone to the point that they died. You remind yourself that you had stabbed him once, already. But somehow it feels different now that he was dead. You wait for the guilt to crash over you, but it never comes. You feel just a tiny bit freer than yesterday, and that both terrifies and excites you.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovelies!
> 
> I am so freaking excited about this chapter. ENJOY!

Sam takes care of the body while Dean takes you to the impala. You start to climb in the back, but Dean stops you. “You wanna tell me what that was back there?” He asks you, standing next to you.

“Honestly, I don’t know. I wasn’t planning on it, I swear. I just … something about it felt right.” You try to explain but you have a feeling that it’s not good enough.

Dean searches your face for a long time. “You know, I probably would have done the same thing. Hell, I have done the same thing. Especially to people who hurt my family.” He emphasizes the last sentence, and you know that he is trying to subtly ask you about what happened. You stay silent, letting him come to his own conclusions.

Deeming your lack of response not good enough, he tries again. “I heard what he said about your mom and how he ‘used’ you. You don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t want to, but I’m here if you do.”

“Why do you care so much?” You ask him.

“Because I do. Care. About you.” He tries to clarify his words by adding onto a phrase what could have just been one sentence. You have seen him interact with his brother and knew that he wasn’t really the share and care type, so it surprised you that he would admit this.

“Why would you care about me? You barely know me.” You question.

“Sweetheart, I’m a quick study when it comes to people. You’re more than you think you are. Plus, if I didn’t care, you wouldn’t be standing here.” His eyes hold yours.

He has never given you reason to believe that you are a burden, always comforting you when you wake him up at night. Not asking the questions he knows you can’t answer. He is always gentle with you, something you thought was an impossibility with someone who kills things for a living. Sometimes when you can’t go to sleep, you lay in the bed with him and stare at his face. You see the lines that are there during the day, fade away, leaving his face worry free. You think about all the times that he has just sat in the motel doing research, letting Sam go interview people, with the excuse that you needed to be protected. Sam’s face of disbelief the first time Dean suggested it, confused you but after Dean started complaining about research you understood that it was not his normal gig. You wonder why he volunteered to do it in the first place if he hated it that much. You think about how safe he makes you feel and the heat that goes through you when he smiles at you.

Before your brain can catch up with your body, you lean forward and press your lips to his. You feel him freeze for the smallest of seconds before his lips press into yours. His lips are soft and you can smell the faint smell of musk and whisky that drags you deeper into the kiss. You can feel his tongue run over your top lip and hands reach around your waist, pulling you roughly against him. Your fingers run over his chest, feeling the hard muscle underneath his many layers of clothing.

A cough interrupts your thoughts and you push Dean away, jumping back. Sam is standing there with a smirk, making heat rise in your face. “I have to deal with a dead body, and you guys are over here making out. How did I get the crappy job here?” He says in a mocking tone.

“Shut up, Sam!” Dean says as he walks around the car and jumps into the driver’s seat.

You slide into the backseat avoiding looking up at Sam, who is chuckling. You are still trying to catch your breath when it hits you. You just kissed Dean Winchester. Not only did you kiss him, but he kissed you back. Oh, crap. Did you mess everything up? There are so many more important things that are going on right now. How could you even do this when you had a maniac after you and you just killed a man?

You glance up at Dean and see that he is watching you. You can only imagine what you look like right now and are sure that he is going to flick his eyes away when you meet them. Instead, he winks at you and smiles, making the skin around his eyes crinkle up a bit. You give him a small smile back and take a deep breath as Sam climbs in the impala.

The car ride back to the motel is filled with music and glances in the rearview mirror.

\---------------------------------

You get back to the motel and disappear into the bathroom. You decide that a shower would help clear your head, which you desperately need. You don’t know what has come over you lately. Three weeks ago, if someone told you that you would be killing demons and making out with someone who looks like they could be a model, you would have laughed at them. Now you were fully immersed in a world where it was acceptable to commit murder because there was true evil in the world and it was justified.

You had the name of someone who would point you to the person responsible for your recent torture. It seems so small of a thing, but it gives you a direction to go in. It helps you come one step close to going back to normal. Honestly, though, did you want to go back to normal? Since being with Sam and Dean, you have turned into the kind of person that you always wanted to be. You are turning into someone strong. Someone who can take care of yourself. There is also the small fact of the two men you have that have been caring for you. You never had someone take care of you or comfort you, and you have to admit that it’s nice.

Then there was Dean. He is of course, beautiful, but also terrifying. He simultaneously makes you feel safe and uncertain. You can feel the attraction between the two of you, but you also have a feeling that it won’t be as simple as “Hey, I think you’re cool. Let’s go out”. Then again why would he want more than a one-night stand charity case? You’re nothing, and he can get any women he wants.

A knock at the door interrupts you. “Hey, it’s Sam. I’m sorry, but I really need a shower. You know, I was the one on body duty.”

You call out, “I’m sorry, Sam. I’ll be right out.” You took longer than you normally do, plagued by your inner monologue. You turn off the water and dry yourself off. You wrap your hair in a towel and pull your pajamas on. Stepping out of the bathroom, you give an apologetic look to Sam.

When he disappears, you are left in the room with Dean. His eyes are on you as you move around the room getting ready for bed. He is sitting at the table with Sam’s laptop, presumably doing research. You glance at him and give him a small smile. “Well, I’m gonna just go to bed.” You tell him.

“Yea, okay. Well, sleep tight Sweetheart.”

You pull the towel off your hair and hang it up, letting your hair free to air dry. After a while of just laying in the bed, you finally fall asleep to the sound of a keyboard clicking and Sam coming out of the shower.

\-----------------------------------------

Dean POV

Y/N is wrapped up in the blanket on the bed. Dean can’t stop thinking about the way she kissed him. The thought went through his head these past couple of weeks to hit on her, but something always stopped him. Maybe it was what she went through. he hadn’t told him everything that happened to her, but it wasn’t hard to guess. Maybe it was that first night that they shared a bed. She held his hand like it was a life raft when she woke up from her nightmare. There was something vulnerable about her that night that told him, if he pressed it, he would hurt her.

Needless to say, it came as a shock when her lips met his tonight. Dean had no warning that she was going to throw herself at him like she did. Mostly he thinks that she was just caught up in the moment. Because, honestly, who would want a drunk like him? ‘I mean, Lisa took me in and it just got her hurt. I was just a charity case for her though. I’m bad news and I know it’. He thinks to himself.

On the other side of that, there is something about her that he can’t shake. The way she laid into that demon, with no fear, was pretty awesome. Everything in him wanted to take her away from that monster and protect her, but after he learned what the demon meant to her, he couldn’t tell her no.

She has been asleep for a couple of hours and Sam is already out. Dean is looking for a way to get Meg here. ‘Maybe Crowley can get a beat on her, but I don’t trust the dick not to try anything.’ He thinks to himself.

Dean’s eyes drift to the bed when he hears you whimpering. He closes the laptop without a second thought and quietly walks over to you. He pulls off his shirt and climbs into the bed, reaching for your hand. You are breathing hard and there are tears streaming down your face. He knows that this is a bad dream. You hardly ever cry when you have your nightmares. Mostly you just whimpered for a while until you woke up screaming. The nights that you cried, were the nights that you woke up and didn’t go back to sleep, forcing yourself to stay awake. Though, you never let go of his hand.

‘I’d give anything for her to get just one damn decent night of sleep.’ He thinks to himself. He inches closer to you, studying your face. He notices that your face is always smooth before your nightmares start. When they come upon you, your forehead creases and your lips form a small pout that he finds adorable. Your face holds no creases now and you are scowling.

You start to thrash around quite a bit almost hitting Dean in the face. “What the hell?” Dean whispers. You have never done this before. Usually your dreams make you cry but not to this extent. Slowly, his arm wraps around your waist as he pulls you close to him. You calm down a bit but not enough that you could be resting comfortably. He rolls with you in his arms, holding you firmly to his chest, stroking arm. “Hey. Hey. Y/N, it’s okay Sweetheart. Shh I got you.” As he holds you, your movements slow to a stop until you are laying limp on his chest.

Dean tries to roll the both of you on your sides, but you start to protest with a groan. He smiles down at you, letting you stay on his chest. You and Dean lay there for hours, while he memorizes your face. ‘She is so damn beautiful’ He thinks before he falls asleep.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, lovelies!
> 
> This is a long chapter so get ready for it.

You wake up and the sun is streaming through your eyelids. You start to stretch but immediately stop because you feel arms around you. It feels like you are sleeping on something hard that is moving. Peeking through your lashes, you see that you are wrapped in Dean’s arms with your head on his chest. He is still asleep, and you take a moment to soak up the feeling of being in his arms and the peaceful look on his face as he breathes evenly. Dean Winchester is holding you in his arms.

Looking over, you see Sam is not in bed. You assume he is on a food run, or just a run. The boy never stopped trying to be healthy, which is great for him, but it wasn’t really your scene. You lay your head back on Dean’s chest and snuggle closer to him. You listen to his heartbeat and imagine what it would be like to wake up like this every day. You had lived alone for the past five years and there were no men to speak of staying the night, so this was a first. You decide that you can get used to it.

“Morning Sweetheart.” You feel him rumble under you when he speaks.

“I didn’t know you were awake. Sorry, if I woke you up.” You tell him, looking up, meeting his green eyes.

His hand comes up and caresses your cheek, his thumb trailing back and forth along your cheekbone. “You didn’t, but I wouldn’t mind it even if you did.”

“Am I squishing you? This can’t be comfortable for you.” You apologize, not knowing that he is the one who put you there last night.

“Are you kidding me? I could sleep like this every night. Plus, it was the only thing that kept you from punching me last night.” He tells you with a smile playing at his lips.

Did he mean he could sleep with you like this every night? The thought sends a blush up to your cheeks. Wait. Did he say I tried to punch him? “What do you mean? About the punching, I mean.” You ask him.

“Well, you were asleep for a bit and then out of nowhere you were crying, and you just started swinging at me. It was pretty badass, though.” He tells you with a smirk.

You groan and put your head to his chest, hiding your face. You try to pull out of his arms, but he holds you there. “Hey, don’t worry about it. I calmed you down. And plus, you helped me wake up to a hot chick in my arms, so I should really be thanking you.” His voice holds humor, but you can hear a hint of seriousness under it. He thinks you’re hot, you gloat to yourself. What are you twelve? You argue. Stop it.

You stare at him for a moment. You are about to ask a question, and the answer terrified you, but before you can, Sam opens the motel door. You push yourself away from Dean and pull the covers up as far as they will go. You try to act normal, but you know that Sam saw you on Dean’s chest this morning.

“Morning, lovebirds. I got cholesterol and caffeine for the two of you, get out of bed.” Sam places the bags down on the table while he says this.

“Sam. Not helping.” Dean growls.

You bounce up and grab the coffee that Sam brought you, inhaling the scent of it. Not caring that it will burn you, you take a sip and immediately regret it because the sound that comes out of your mouth should not be heard by children and you look up to see Dean staring at you with his lips parted slightly and his eyebrows raised. “What? I like coffee.” You defend yourself.

\------------------------------------

Sam and Dean have been working for two weeks on how to find Meg. So far, they have come up with nothing. They can’t summon her because they never learned her actual name. According to Sam, every time they asked her, she would just say, “I go by many names.” The boys just stuck with Meg because that was the girl that she was possessing when they first met her.

They have been finding demons and questioning them. Unfortunately, you were back to being on lockdown in the motel room for the most part. You go on food runs with Dean every now and again, but the boys thought that it was best that you were not seen by too many demons. The goal is to keep you hidden, and honestly, you had no desire to be added on anyone else’s hitlist.

You are also being trained by the boys in simple hand to hand combat. You asked if they could show you how to defend yourself, because you knew they would not be around forever. It was a hard fight, but in the end, you won, telling them that if they didn’t teach you, you would start sneaking out and going to the gym. It was a low blow and you know it, but you need to be able to protect yourself. You agreed to train in a local gym after it closed. When you were taken there for the first time, the doors were always open, but you made it a point to never ask how.

In the first session, you were pinned every single round. Sam was a fierce trainer and he had you sweating and bruised within an hour. By day four you started to get better. You are much smaller than the boys, so it takes a lot of effort for you to take them down, which, you have not actually done yet.

It makes you feel a little better, knowing a few tricks that will at least buy you time before help can get there. When Dean stepped in to do some training with you, it ended with you being pinned underneath him every round. He lingered on top of you, pinning your arms by your head before hoping off you and pulling you to your feet. Sam came in during one of the sessions and scoffed, “Do you need me to take over and do some actual training instead of flirting?” You avoided looking him in the eye, but Dean was quick. “It’s okay Sammy, I got this.”

You have been training with Dean more than Sam recently. This session is filled with more of the same, Dean pins you, he laughs, and climbs off you. You did get one hit in before your back meets the ground. He is straddling your body, holding your hands firmly in place against your body. You expect him to hop off like normal, but he sits there for the longest time. You gaze up at him, admiring how his chest rises and falls when he breathes heavily. His eyes search yours. Suddenly, he leans down and crushes your lips with his. It is the first time you have kissed since the night that you killed Andrew. This was not like the first kiss, it’s more urgent and hungry. You move your lips in sync with his. It is effortless and holy hell he is a good kisser. He releases your mouth and starts kissing your neck, sending shivers down your spine.

As fast as the kiss began, Dean pulls away from you. “What are you doing to me Y/N?”

Confused, you just stare up at him. He sits straddling you for another second before he realizes the position that the two of you are in. He stands and pulls you with him. He walks away, leaving you there with swollen lips and a racing heart.

\--------------------------------------

Still searching for a way to find Meg, or Aelric, one day the boys come back from hitting the pavement. You can tell that they are frustrated. Sam comes in the room with his jaw tense and Dean goes straight to the bed and collapses on it, hands rubbing his temples. You wonder how much longer they are going to have to put their lives on hold for you. It turns out that the lead Sam followed when you and Dean had your most recent training session, turned out to be nothing more than a demon trying to set a trap for the Winchesters. Apparently, the demon thought it would be a good idea, but Sam showed him that it wasn’t.

“I’m sorry.” You tell the boys in a low voice.

“For what?” Sam asks.

“You guys are stressed out and we have been stuck in this motel for weeks. I’m sorry that you guys are putting yourselves through all this just because of me.” You are genuinely trying to make amends for imposing yourself on them.

“Seriously?” Dean speaks up.

You shrug in response.

Dean sits up and looks at you. “Okay, look. First off, you have nothing to be sorry for. You didn’t ask to be strung up and tortured for days. Second, this is the gig Sweetheart. We are used to the crappy rooms. Third, we are always stressed. It’s almost our natural state by now. Fourth, we wouldn’t be here if we didn’t want to be. You’re not making us stay here and you are not to blame. Got it?” He stares at you when you don’t respond.

“But …” you start before being cut off.

“Not your fault.”

“I just …”

“No.” his tone is firm, when he says this, making you look at him.

You sigh, knowing that you were not going to win. “Okay.”

Dean claps his hands together and Sam shakes his head at you. “Now that we got that out of the way,” Dean says in a cheery voice, “How do you feel about tattoos?”

\----------------------------

With all the recent demon encounters, Sam suggested that you get a tattoo. Apparently, there is a symbol that prevents demons from possessing you. It was agreed that you needed one just in case. You are not fond of needles and quite frankly, you hate pain. Unfortunately, the pros outweigh the cons, so here you sit, in the chair of a tattoo parlor. Dean is showing the artist the symbol and you are choosing where it goes. You agreed that it needed to be somewhere easily concealable, so it is going to be put on your hipbone. This means that in order to have it done, your pants are undone and shifted down your hip a bit, leaving a generous section of skin showing.

Dean’s eyes flicker to your skin every couple of minutes while he is holding your hand. You ask him at one point what he is looking at and he tells you that he is making sure it is being done right but you can see the lust in his eyes. It makes you smirk and shake your head, but it also fills you with a sensation of pride.

It takes forever to get the tattoo done, but you finally stand up and listen to the aftercare instructions. It shouldn’t take too long for it to heal, which is good. Walking out of the shop, you can’t help but quip “So, now that you put your mark on me, does that mean that I’m in the gang?” You chuckle.

“Do you want to be?” Dean asks you, his face hesitant.

“Dean, I was kidding. I know that after this is over, I go back to my life and you guys leave.” You tell him. Honestly, there was no other option that you could see.

“What if … Ah nevermind.” He stops at the impala and scoffs. He slightly shakes his head and climbs into the car.

You blink, confused. What the hell just happened?

You climb into the car and stare at Dean. He avoids your eyes and starts driving but you are not going to let it go that easy.

“You were saying?” You ask him.

“Nothing. It doesn’t matter.” He tries to sidestep the conversation by turning on the radio and blasting ‘Simple Man’. He knows it is your favorite song and it almost distracts you, but you reach over and flip the sound off.

“No, I want to know.” You insist.

“Leave it, Y/N. It wouldn’t happen anyway.” His voice sounds irritated and you know that it has to be something big.

“Seriously? You aren’t going to tell me? You just found out some of my darkest secrets from a creep that now has a hole in his neck. You can tell me.”

“No. You wouldn’t say yes anyway, so what’s the point?”

This confuses you, but it also makes your stubbornness flare. “Why don’t you tell me, so I can decide for myself?” You stare at him and wait.

“It’s not an option, Y/N!” He raises his voice, something he has never done before.

“Will you stop being a dick and tell me what you’re afraid of?!” You snap at him.

“I can’t be the reason you get sucked into this life! Too many people have died because of me and you won’t be one of them! Dammit, Y/N.” He shakes his head and glares at the road.

“Wait.” You say in a small voice. “Were… were you going to ask me to come with you?” You ask, a little breathless from the small fight.

He glances at you. “No. Maybe. Yes. I don’t know. I know, that’s not what you want though, or what you deserve.”

You slide over to him and lean on his side, putting your head on his shoulder. “I know I want to be here with you, right now. That’s all I can tell you.” You say quietly.

\-----------------------

Riding back with Dean, you are lost in your own thoughts. What would it be like if you went with them? You would be in danger for sure. You would have nowhere to live and you would have to say goodbye to everything. But was that a bad thing?

You have been gone for over a month and no one has called to check on you, a small voice in the back of your head reminds you. It was true. You had been checking your email and voicemail these past few weeks and there was nothing. You were never really close to people, but you had a couple of friends at your job. Though, the friendships were superficial at best. You didn’t tell them your past and they never went to your house. The only time you spoke to them was at the office. There was no one that you talked to all the time, so there really was no one to miss you. What a sad life you had, you realize.

“Hey, breathe. Sweetheart take a breath.” Dean’s voice pulls you out of your thoughts. His hand rests on your thigh and he is gazing at you with questioning eyes.

“Huh?” You ask him.

“You weren’t breathing again.” He informs you. “What’s flying through that pretty head of yours?”

“I … I was just thinking about my life. My normal life.” You stare out the window watching the trees pass. “Not one person has looked for me or tried to see if I was okay.” You tell him in a quiet voice.

“What about the people that Sammy and I interviewed? They haven’t called you?” He asks.

“They are my coworkers. They don’t even know where I live or that I don’t have parents anymore. The don’t know anything about me except that I show up and am a good employee. They don’t actually care where I end up.” You tell him.

“So, why are you jonesing to go back?” He glances at you.

“What else do I have, Dean?”

“You have me. And Sammy. You have us.” He stutters.

“Thanks.” You tell him with a smile.

He watches you for a minute before speaking again. “Hey, do you wanna go somewhere with me tonight?”

“Awe, is Dean Winchester asking me out on a date?” You say in a joking tone.

“Actually, yeah. I mean, we don’t have to if you don’t wanna. It was just a stupid thought. Never mind.” He puts both hands on the wheel and stares out the window, concentrating on the road.

“No, I would really like that.” You tell him in a soft voice. After the two heated make-out sessions the two of you shared, part of you wonders if you are just someone for Dean to kiss or if there are actually feelings in him for you. Maybe this will give you the chance to see what he is feeling.

Holy shit, you have a date with Dean.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovelies!
> 
> Here is the next chapter. It’s a bit shorter than the last one but it’s filled with goodness.

The sun is going down over the horizon and the field that you and Dean stand in is lit by a few streetlights. It is enough to see what is around you, and you can see there are glass bottles lined up on a post. You look at Dean furrowing your eyebrows in confusion. 

“So… I know we have been working on hand to hand stuff, and that you are good with a knife. I thought it was time to show you how to shoot a gun.” He tells you with excitement shining in his eyes. 

He brings his gun out from behind him and shows you how it works. You have been around guns before, but you were never a good shot. You sigh and take the gun. You were expecting food or going to see a show or something, which was dumb on your part. You don’t really know how you feel about this date, but you know shooting a gun will come in handy and Dean looks so excited that you go with it. 

“Okay, line up the bottle in your sights and squeeze the trigger. Be careful of the kick.” You raise the gun and do your best to aim. When you fire, nothing breaks, so you know you missed it by a lot. You fire a couple more rounds with the same results and you are getting frustrated. 

Dean chuckles quietly. “Okay, let me help you.” He moves to stand behind you. His hands wrap themselves around yours and he repositions your hands on the handle. When he is satisfied, his hands trail your arms up to your shoulders, never breaking contact with your skin. His face is close to yours and you can feel his breath at your ear. “Relax your shoulders. Line up the bottles in your sights. Take a deep breath, hold it, and… fire.” As he says the word “fire” You squeeze the trigger and hear glass shattering. Smiling, you turn to look at him. He is smiling big enough that you can see the dimples in his cheeks and his eyes are crinkling around the edges. “See, I knew you could do it.” He softly tells you. 

You continue practicing for a while until he takes the gun from you and nods for you to take a break. Dean hands you a beer and slides onto a fallen tree stump, motioning for you to sit with him.

“You know, you’re getting good at this. A little more practice and you can shoot just as good as Sam and me.”

  
“Yep, and soon I will be able to kick your ass, too.” You chuckle at him.

  
“Oh, I don’t know about that Sweetheart. You have a lot to learn still.” He tells you, gloating.

  
“Well, I guess I will have to stick around then.” You whisper to him, glancing up to see his reaction. He looks at you for a second before taking a sip of his beer. You can see the smirk that he is trying to hide by the action.

  
Dean and you sit for hours on the stump, talking. He tells you about some of the things he and Sam have done over the years. When he gets to the apocalypse, you are hanging on to every word he is saying, intrigued. You can’t believe that the man sitting beside you has gone through so much. It makes your past seem like a trip to Disney World.

  
“Sam and I have been there for each other since we were kids. For the most part, we are all we have.” He tells you. Thinking back at some of the interactions between the brothers, you notice how they take care of each other, even when they are fighting with each other. It would be nice to have that, you think.

  
“You guys have something really special. It must be nice.” You tell him.

  
“You never had anyone like that?” He asks you.

  
“No.” You whisper. Then, you clarify. “I have always been kind of a loner. Growing up with the parents I had, didn’t really help me form close bonds, you know. For the most part, I was kept in the house, so my mother could homeschool me, and I am an only child, so…”

  
Dean is staring at you with a look of pity. This was not what you wanted.

  
“Sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything. It doesn’t matter anymore, anyway.” You smile at him, taking a deep breath.

  
“You don’t have to apologize.” He reaches up to hold your face between his hands. “And you can tell me whatever you want to. You don’t have to hide from me.”

  
Looking into his eyes, you want to spill everything. You want to tell him about the nights that Andrew came into your room and used you. You want him to know about the days without food, locked in the closet, praying to God that when your mother got home, she would let you out. You want to tell him about the scars and the hurt and the blood, but nothing comes out.

  
“What are you afraid of, Y/N?” He searches your face, and you know that you can’t lie to him.

  
“If I tell you, you will just look at me with pity, and I can’t have you do that. I don’t want you to look at me and see someone who is broken.” You close your eyes and press your check into his hand, that is still holding you.

  
“Don’t be stupid, I would never see you as weak, Sweetheart.”

You feel his gaze on you, but you don’t open your eyes. “Hey, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, but I will listen when you do. Until then, let me remind you how much of a badass you are.”

He pulls you up and hands you the gun motioning for you to take your shots.

  
You give him a small smile, and line up your gun with the bottle, and fire.

  
\------------------------

  
You and Dean practice in the field a bit more, until the sun disappears under the horizon. You are getting better at aiming and hitting the targets, which is good. You are actually having fun and Dean has not said anymore about your earlier conversation. You slip into easy banter with him while you fire your gun. He takes a couple of turns firing to be a showoff and then hands you the gun back.

  
Dean keeps inching closer to you after each round you fire. You feel him press against your back and his chest is rising and falling against you. His hands wrap themselves around your waist and he pulls you against him. You feel his lips graze your neck and they move against your skin. You tilt your head, giving him more access to your neck, liking the sensation. His hand reaches around you and he takes the gun out of your hands, which is a good idea because you had forgotten about it.

  
“I’m sorry for yelling at you in the car earlier.” He whispers into your skin.

  
Instead of answering him, you turn around in his arms and wrap your arms around his neck. You press your lips lightly to his and breathe in his scent.

  
“I just don’t want anything to happen to you.” He tells you, when he pulls away.

  
“I know, but I have never felt safer than right here in your arms.” You tell him. It is true. When you are with him, you feel like nothing can hurt you. “Now shut up and kiss me.”

  
“Well. Isn’t that sweet.” You hear a voice that you don’t recognize come from behind you.

  
You feel Dean tense around you. He immediately grips your arm and pulls you behind him. He is standing directly between you and the visitor, so you are hidden. You know that he wouldn’t do this unless the person was a threat to you.

  
“I heard you and Moose are looking for a certain whore we both know and hate.” You heard the man say in a British accent. “How can I be of service?”


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovelies!
> 
> Here is a longer chapter. Sorry it is kind of a slow burn story, I like details and I want to make everything feel natural so there are going to be many more chapters to come. Thanks for sticking with me!

“Why would you want to help us?” Dean asks the man in front of the two of you. You had been having such a wonderful time with Dean before this guy came here, and it made you a bit irritated. Every time you and Dean start to get physical, someone interrupts you. Could there be a worse Hell?

“Can’t I just do something out of the goodness of my heart?” The man asks.

“Crowley, I don’t have time for this. What the hell do you want?” Dean’s voice betrays his irritation and loathing for the man.

“I want a lot of things. Peace and quiet for one. I want you two morons to find Meg and deal with the problem for me.” Crowley’s eyes shift to you, when you peek your head out to get a look at the man. You see he is in an expensive suit and he has a beard, which suites him. He doesn’t look all that threatening. “Who do we have here?” Crowley asks of you.

“Hey, don’t talk to her. You’re dealing with me.” Dean growls.

“Oh, calm down, I won’t hurt the girl. Unless she asks me to, that is.” Crowley winks at you.

“Yea that’s not going to happen, asshole.” You tell him in a strong voice.

“Quite a mouth on you, pet. Wonder how smart of a mouth you would have if I cut out your tongue.” His voice is calm and threatening as his eyes turn red. Okay, maybe you should fear him.

Before you can stop yourself, you grip the back of Dean’s shirt feeling like a child, hiding behind someone hoping they will protect you. You can tell he knows you are scared because he reaches a hand back and pulls you closer to him, while still keeping you hidden.

“You touch her, it will be the last thing you ever do.” Dean’s voice is nothing short of furious. “Why do you care that we find Meg so bad?”

“Fine. Over the foreplay then, I guess. I want the bitch dead.” You were surprised by how easily he admitted this fact, in an open place like this.

“Right. I’m sorry, I missed the point where we give a damn.” Dean challenges Crowley.

“Well, I know Samantha is the smart one, so let me break it down for you. I tell you where she is. You catch her and get her to talk. Once you find your information, she dies. All is well in the world. Do I need to simplify it for you?” Sarcasm drips from Crowley’s lips.

Dean pulls out his cell phone and calls Sam. He tells his brother to meet at a local diner. When he hangs up, he looks at Crowley. “Alright, meet us at the diner in half an hour and we will talk about it.”

“Why can’t I just give you the information now?” Crowley counters.

“Because you’re a dick.” Dean turns to leave pushing you along, keeping himself between you and Crowley.

“Dean … make sure to bring your pet along. I need something pretty to look at while I am surrounded by you denim wrapped nightmares.” Crowley call after the two of you.

\----------------------------------------------

Dean pulls into the parking lot of the motel and you turn to him confused. “Why are we here? I thought we were going to meet up with Sam.” You ask.

“I need you to stay here, Sweetheart.” He tells you, with a pleading look in his eye.

“What. Why?” You ask, not letting him win so easily.

“Because, Crowley isn’t someone you need to be mixed up with. He’s bad news and you need to stay away from him. You’ll be safe in the room. Put a salt line over the door, keep your hex bag on you, and don’t open the door for anyone.” He instructs you. He slides out of the car to walk you in.

You begrudgingly go with him, not wanting to be alone, but also not wanting to meet Crowley again.

Before he leaves, Dean hands you a pistol and one of his burner cell phones. “Here, this is just in case anyone comes in. If anything happens, you call me.”

You gladly take the gun, glad to have a weapon. “Let me know what happens, I guess.”

Dean turns to leave, but you stop him. “I really had fun tonight. Minus the interruption, that is. Also, be safe. Don’t do anything crazy. Make sure you get your ass back here to me.” You give him a small smile, hoping that he sees that it is genuine.

He leans down and presses his lips softly against yours. Holy Hell, his lips are so soft. “You can’t get rid of me that easy.” He murmurs before turning and walking out of the door.

\-------------------------------------------------

Sam and Dean have been gone for almost an hour and you are jittery. You know there are a lot of things that need to be discussed but you can’t help that you are worried. You sit and think about everything that has happened in the past month. Getting kidnapped and tortured. Being saved by Sam and Dean. Learning about the supernatural. Helping Sam research because you had to be helpful. The car rides with Dean. Honestly, Dean in general. Your thoughts linger on him and what he told you tonight. You have to admit, you like that he is so devoted to his family, and the fact that he saved the world, didn’t hurt either. There is still a lot that he probably hasn’t told you, but you have not really opened up to him completely either. You wonder what it will take for you to be honest with him.

You start to get restless and pace the room. You check that the salt line is still there and then you move to the window to see if the boys are back yet. There is no one outside, not one car. Sighing, you decide to get ready to take a shower. Maybe by the time you are out, they would be back. How long did it take them to get some information?

You gather your clothes and head toward the bathroom. A loud alarm sounds through the building, making you jump. “Shit.” You slow your breathing before realizing that it is the fire alarm. “Shit!” You grab the cell phone and dial Dean’s number. He picks up on the second ring.

“What’s wrong?” He asks in a breathless voice.

“The fire alarm is going off. What do I do?” You ask, knowing you needed to stay inside, but also knowing that if there is a fire, you need to leave.

“Dammit! Look outside, are there other people there? Can you see any flames or smell any smoke?” He asks you.

You run to the window and don’t see anyone standing outside. “No. No people or smell or flames or anything.”

“Stay inside. Sam and I are on our way. Don’t go out of that room unless you smell smoke. Do you hear me?” He tells you.

“Got it. Please hurry, though.” You plead. You hear banging at your door and it is loud enough for Dean to hear over the phone.

“Stay quiet and don’t open the door.” He tells you. You can hear the Impala’s engine accelerate in the background.

“This is the fire department. There is an emergency, open up!” A voice calls from the other side of the door. You hear banging again.

“Dean, he says he is from the fire department.” You whisper into the phone.

“I heard him. Don’t open the door.” His tone is firm.

There are more bangs on the door, that go ignored. You think you are safe because the door is shut but you forgot about management. The door unlocks and swings open. There is a man in a motel uniform standing there with a master key in his hand. He is just doing his job and you can’t be too mad at him for making sure you are safe. He is a very large man, you notice. As soon as he sees you, his eyes flicker black.

“Hi there Y/N. Nice to catch you here all alone. Why don’t you come out and play?” The demon says.

You laugh at him. “I don’t think so. I’m staying right here, asshole. And as long as that salt is there, you can’t come in. Sorry. You lose.” Okay. Taunting a demon is probably not a good idea, you have to admit, but it is fun.

“What’s going on Y/N?” You hear from the phone. You go to answer but your voice stops when you hear the demon chuckling.

“What salt line?” He asks looking down.

Motherfucking shit! The salt line is destroyed because a gust of wind blew through it when the door opened. Quickly, you grab for your gun and aim it at the man. You fire a couple of rounds as he walks through the door. The bullets impact, but it doesn’t even slow him down. You start to run to your bag, where you have holy water stashed. Why the hell didn’t you have it out already?

Before you can reach it, you feel hands grab you. You wheel around and punch the demon in the face, trying to get him to loosen his grip. It does nothing more than hurt your hand. He doesn’t even flinch.

“That wasn’t very nice, you know.” He sneers. He tightens his grip on you and throws you across the room. You feel yourself collide with something hard. Your head hits something with enough force to blur your vision. When you slam on the ground, you bring your hand to your head and it comes away with blood. You start to push yourself up, taking any chance you can get to escape.

The demon is standing over you, watching you try to get up. He swiftly kicks you in the stomach and then again, sending you sprawling. You try to kick him, but he dodges you and kicks you again, knocking the breath out of you. He climbs on you, straddling your hips. His hands reach for your head. He grips fistfuls of your hair and bashes your head into the ground with enough force, you almost pass out.

“Is that all you got, you pussy?” You weakly ask as you try to punch him again. It doesn’t take much for him to grab your wrist and slam it into the ground as well. You feel hands wrap around your throat, cutting off your circulation. You try to breathe, but nothing comes in. You try to buck him off of you by thrashing under him, but it does no good. He was just too big. Digging your fingernails into his skin, you try to pry his hands off you.

“Crowley said they should have taken you with them. Guess he was right.” He sneers at you.

Your struggles start to slow, as you lose strength. Your vision is spotty, and it is getting hard to keep your eyes open. Really? After everything you have gone through, you are going to die alone in a motel room being strangled by a demon. Dean, please get here, you think.

Your try to dig your fingernails into his hand again but you don’t even have enough force to scratch him. You lose the ability to move your arms and legs at all and end up laying under the demon, unmoving. Before you fall into the blackness, you hear your name being shouted and heavy footsteps coming toward you.  


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovelies!
> 
> Here is the next chapter. I am off to work on the story some more, so I can promise there will be a new chapter tomorrow.

Dean POV

Dean can hear the voice of someone in the room over the phone. He hears something connect hard with an object and he hears you cry out in pain. ‘I shouldn’t have left her’ he thought.

“What’s going on?” Sam asks.

Dean ignores him and pushes down on the gas pedal, they are almost there. He can see the lights of the motel. The impala comes to a screeching halt outside the motel room. The door is open, and Dean can see that the salt line has been broken. As soon as the wheels stop, Dean flies out of the car and runs to the room.

The sight he comes in to makes his blood boil and freeze and the exact same moment. “Y/N!” He yells. Taking out Ruby’s knife he slams into the demon that is holding you down. The demon lands on his back and Dean moves to stab him but the demon kicks out at Dean, connecting with his stomach. He falls back as the demon manages to scramble to his feet. Sam rushes over to the demon to throw a punch. The demon blocks it and snaps his other fist forward. Dean can hear his brother grunt when the punch lands on his face. They trade a few punches, Sam blocking more than the demon, before Dean reaches them, knife in hand. They back the demon into a corner and Sam starts to exorcise him.

“Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus, omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio infernalis adversarii”

The demon laughs and starts to breathe heavy. “Are you kidding me? An exorcism?”

“omnis legio, omnis congregatio et secta diabolica”

Eyes turning black, the demon screams, “Wait! If you let me go, I will tell you who sent me. Or do you not care who put the hit out on your slut?” He asks.

Dean starts to move forward, his face contorted with rage. His jaw is clenched, and his lips are slightly pursed. Though, nothing compares to the fury in his eyes. Before he can reach the demon, Sam stops him.

“Who?” Sam asks.

“I need your word, that you will let me go, or just kill me. Don’t send me back to Hell.” The demon bargains.

“Who?” Dean growls.

“It was Ellen. She wants her daughter dead. Says she should have killed her a long time ago and that she’s the reason for Andrew’s death. Bitch has a lot of sway with demons for a human.”

“Where is she?” Dean asks.

“Do you honestly think I know? I got the order from her messenger. And no, I don’t know the name. Now, let me go.”

“Yeah, I don’t think so.” Dean mumbles before taking Ruby’s knife and plunging it into the demon’s chest, twisting it so he feels the pain. Orange sparks fly from the demon and Dean just stares into his eyes while he dies.

 “Dean.” Sam tries to get his brother’s attention. “Dean!” Sam yells to his brother when the first attempt didn’t work.

Dean turns to see his brother hovering over your body. He rushes over and checks your pulse. He sighs in relief when he feels it, although it is very weak. Your chest is slowly rising and falling but you are still passed out. There is blood seeping out of your forehead where you hit the side of the dresser. Dean can see purple hand marks forming around your neck and he knows that you are going to be hurting for a bit when you wake up.

“Dammit.” He whispers. Gently, he cradles your head in his lap and starts running his thumb over your cheek. “Y/N, wake up, Sweetheart. I need you to wake up. Sammy and I are here, please wake up honey.” He whispers to you.

He sits with you for a long time before Sam suggests that you be put into the bed while they get ready to go somewhere else. Dean agrees, nodding his head. He carries you to the bed and sets you down, resting your head on the pillow and folding your arms on your stomach.

“You know there’s nothing you could have done, right?” Sam asks. He is looking at his brother, worry, marring his features. He knows that Dean always takes blame for things that are not in his control.

“I could have been here. Or hell, I could have taken her with us. At least she would have been with us and we could have protected her.” Dean snaps at Sam, packing your things in your bag.

“Hey, all I’m saying is she is going to be okay, we got here before it was too late. So, I call that a win.” Giving his brother a sympathetic look, Sam turns to pack his clothes but stops. “You know, I care about her too, right? She’s been a hell of a research partner since she’s been here. And plus, I think she is good for you.”

“What are you talking about?” Dean challenges his brother.

“Dean, I’ve seen the way you act around her and the way you look at her. You love her, don’t you?” Sam asks.

“Dude, I’ve only known her for like a month.” There was no way that he, Dean Winchester, was in love that fast like he was in some chick flick. At least, he would never admit it to Sam.

“I mean, what about Cassie? You were only with her for like a week.” Sam reminds his brother about the girl he fell for, hard enough to tell her about what he really did.

“That’s not … this is different. Shut up.” Dean snaps.

“Okay. All I’m saying is that you care for her. A lot. That’s not a bad thing.”

“Just let it go, Sam. Please.”

Without a word, Sam continues to pack up the motel room. Dean stares at you for a minute, seeing you passed out on the bed, wishing he were strong enough to save you from everything but knowing that he would just mess you up somehow. Still, he was a selfish bastard and couldn’t give you up. Maybe Sam was right. Sighing, he starts to pack up the rest of the room with Sam.

 

\-----------------------------

The first sensation that hits you is pain. There is throbbing in your head and your throat feels like sandpaper and it his painful to swallow. Your right hand has its own heartbeat, which is never good. Your body freezes as it remembers the last time you woke up in pain. ‘Oh God, please no.’ You think. You brush your fingers against whatever it is you are laying on and feel fabric. ‘Oh, thank you Jesus’ you sigh.

You open your eyes to find that you are laying on a motel bed, but it looks different than the one you are used to. Looking around you see your bags along with the boy’s. Sam is sitting next to your bed, reading a book that is leather bound. You move to sit up, which makes Sam’s eyes dart to you.

“Hey, don’t move. You took a pretty nasty hit yesterday.” He tells you putting the book down and pushing you back to the bed gently.

Yesterday. You have been out almost a full day. How many times are you going to be knocked out for long periods of time? You reach up to brush your fingers through your hair when your fingers meet a bandage. That explains the headache at least. “Whe…” You try to ask where Dean is, but your throat is so dry that nothing comes out. You swallow but it is hard, and it hurts. The action makes you flinch.

“Don’t try to talk for a bit. Here, drink some water.” Sam gives you a bottle of water and lifts your head up slightly, so you can drink. It is cooling on your throat, but it still hurts when you swallow it. Laying you back down on the pillow, Sam tells you what happened.

“You scared the hell out of us, Y/N. We thought you were dead when we got here.” He looks at you with his forehead scrunched up and his puppy dog eyes on full display.

“What happened … demon.” You manage to get out, though your voice makes you cringe. It is raspy, and it isn’t very clear, but Sam manages to understand what you are asking.

“We took care of it. He won’t hurt you again.” Sam tells you, making you relax a little.

“Dean?” You ask.

“He didn’t leave your side all night. It took a lot of convincing, but I got him to go take a shower. He had a lot of blood on him, and I told him it would freak you out. He has been in there for about five minutes, so he will be out soon.” Sam tells you this and your brain finally registers the sound of water running in the bathroom.

“You okay?” You ask him. You can see a cut on his cheek and there is bruising on his face. Looks like it was a hell of a fight, to be honest.

“Yeah, I’m good. I’ve been through much worse.” Sam tells you smiling a little. He glances down and then meets your eyes. “You know, my brother doesn’t normally fall for people easily. He isn’t what you would call… in touch with his emotions. But, I’ve never seen him be so worried about someone that wasn’t me or Cas. I guess what I’m trying to say is, he cares about you. I just hope neither of you get hurt.” He seems so sincere and you know that he wasn’t trying to do the “if you hurt my brother, I will hurt you” speech, which is what you expected. It takes you by surprise that he would tell you this, but you smile at him, giving him an appreciative nod.

\-----------------------

When Dean comes out of the shower, you have your eyes open and you are talking to Sam in small phrases. He looks taken aback slightly when you look at him. His hair is sparkling with dots of water that are left after his shower. His skin is shiny, and he has on jeans, along with a t-shirt that is sticking to his skin, showing everything underneath. Sometimes you forget how beautiful this man actually is. His shoulders alone are enough to make you salivate.

“Y/N? You’re awake.” Dean sighs in relief. He comes over to your bed and sits next to you, cradling your face in his hands. He searches your face, and you can see his eyes are full of guilt. You lean forward and press your lips to his, telling him that you are okay. Pulling back, you smile at him.

“How are you feeling Sweetheart?” He asks you, looking down at your neck.

It takes you a second to answer because when you try nothing comes out. This is going to be tedious if it doesn’t stop soon. You swallow, wincing slightly, which makes Dean’s eyebrows furrow in concern. Trying again you say, “I’m okay.” You point to your throat, “hurts.”

“I know, try not to talk too much. It won’t take long for you to get back to normal.” He gazes at you, concerned. As he should be, really.

“What else happened?” You slowly ask, letting the words scrape against your throat.

“Nothing that you need to worry about right now. Just rest up and get better.” He smiles at you, but it doesn’t reach his eyes.

There is something he isn’t telling you.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovelies!
> 
> *TRIGGER WARNING* There are depictions of past abuse. 
> 
> (See the end for chapter notes.)

You have been sleeping a lot the past few days. When you wake up, Dean is never far away. Sam has been gone for a couple of days, which leaves Dean alone to face you. Apparently, Crowley gave the boys a spell that can track Meg. Why he didn’t use it himself was a mystery to you. Sam has been off looking for some of the more obscure ingredients. You wanted to go with him, but he argued that you were not well enough and that he had it. That was days ago, though you didn’t mind all that much. It gave you time with Dean. The good news is that you have gotten most of your voice back and it is more comfortable to swallow and eat solid food. Your head has felt better, but it’s felt worse as well, so you can’t complain.

Your nightmares had started to go away before you were attacked. Now they are back with a vengeance. Unfortunately, there have been scenes added to the array of frightening scenes. Dean leaves you, hands wrap around your neck and squeeze, your mother walks through the door with a blade in her hand, and Crowley locking you in chains are just some of the images that fly by you now. There have been many times in the past couple of days that you wake up covered in sweat and screaming. Dean is as patient as ever. He knows what it is to be plagued by nightmares.

During one of the times you are awake, you decide to ask him what he is keeping from you.

“So, did you learn anything from the demon before you shanked him?” You ask casually while holding your smoothie in your hand.

“Uh, not really. Just the usual.” Dean tells you avoiding your eyes.

“Really? That’s the lie you’re going with?” You challenge him.

“It’s not a lie.”

“Maybe, but it’s not everything. Dean tell me. I can handle it.” You try to coax him by standing up and walking next to him. Maybe the close proximity will give him little wiggle room to lie to me.

“You don’t wanna know.” He insists.

“Ha. So, there is something you aren’t telling me. What is it?” You ask him again.

He looks at you for a brief moment before looking away. “Don’t worry about it, Y/N.”

You move and sit on his lap, looking him right in the eye. “Don’t you think I’ve been through enough to prove to you that I can take it? Whatever it is, I can’t deal with it unless I know. Please.” You let the last word trickle out in a whisper.

He searches your face for a moment and sighs. “Dammit.” He whispers. You wait expectedly.

“He said … He told us who sent him.” He starts to tell you.

“That’s great! If we know who it is, we can go after them, or at least figure out why they wanted me dead.” You tell him eagerly, starting to move off his lap but he holds you there. You look at him, waiting.

“It was Ellen, Y/N. She put the hit out on you … for Andrew.” He tells you softly, like he is expecting you to crumble at the news.

“Oh.” Is all that falls out of your lips.

“Oh?” He asks, clearly taken aback.

“What do you want me to say?” you ask him.

“I don’t know. If my mom put a hit on my life, I’d be upset at least. Maybe I was expecting you to scream or cry or I don’t know, get mad. But not ‘oh’.” He tells you confused.

Door’s open, Y/N. Now would be the time for you to tell him. He is going to think you are weak, you tell yourself. Maybe not, a small voice pipes up.

You take a deep breath and start telling him your story. “It’s not that crazy of an idea.” You tell him.

“What do you mean?” He asks, wrapping his arms around your waist.

“Growing up, my mother did some pretty unbelievable things. When I was little, I found my dad when he died. After that Mother went a little crazy. She started seeing men. She got mean, and at first sometimes she forgot to feed me, but that was it. Then she met Andrew. She would lock me in the closet for hours, sometimes days, with no food or water or light. At first, I screamed for her to open the door and let me out, but she would come in and hit me until I passed out. Sometimes I would go days without eating. She said that it was to toughen me up. Andrew’s favorite punishment was the belt. It had spikes all over it and he would fasten it to my thighs tight enough where it would dig into my skin and draw blood. I would have to wear it for hours while I did my chores. He told me once that he chose that spot because no one would see the scars there. Mother just stood there for the most part. Sometimes she would use that as a punishment because she knew it pleased Andrew. I could’ve handled all of that. I could have gotten past most of it. Andrew was the one who finally broke me.” You paused, tears streaming down your face. “It wasn’t too long after Andrew moved in with us that he would come to my bedroom at night. My mother would stand guard at the door to make sure that I didn’t run. Every night he came to me, I thought I was gonna die. The day she left was the happiest day of my life. She told me that she didn’t want me anymore because I was useless and that her life would be better if it was just her and Andrew. By that time, I was so tired that I just wanted it to be over. Before she left, she told me to just kill myself because I would be better for it. So, no. It doesn’t surprise me that she would send someone to kill me. I should have expected it sooner, to be honest.”

Throughout your story, Dean just holds you. At some point, your head ends up against his chest and his arms are wrapped around you like a barrier against your memories. By the end of your rather long explanation that he was probably not ready for, you are sobbing into his chest. You have seen many therapists over the years, but this is the first time you have told anyone all of the details and not just pieces. You cling to his shirt, letting all your hurt flow out of you. You are not much of a crier, but you feel if there was ever a time to just let go, it’s with Dean.

Dean is rubbing your back gently. You don’t want to look at his face to see the look of a man that knows he made a mistake. “It’s over. She can’t do anything to you anymore. I’ve got you Sweetheart.” He whispers to you. There is an edge to his voice that you swear is anger.

“Sorry.” You whisper.

“What? Why are you sorry?” He asks you.

“I didn’t mean to dump all of this on you in one shot. I know it’s a lot to take in.” You explain.

“Wait. Is this what you were talking about when you said you didn’t want me to look at you with pity or like you are weak?” He asks in a rushed voice.

You nod your head against his chest. Immediately he pulls you up, so he can see you. You keep your eyes down because you can’t see the disappointment on his face. His hand reaches under your chin and lifts it until you look at him.

“Nothing. Nothing will make me think of you as weak. You survived. If anything, that makes you the strongest woman I have ever known.” He tells you and you can see in his eyes that he is telling the truth.

You nod your head and put your head back onto his chest. You feel his lips against your forehead. “I’ve got you Sweetheart.” He murmurs.

“Thank you for listening.” You tell him.

“Anytime. Nothing you say will make me go away, do you understand me?” He asks you.

You nod your head again. “M’tired.” You whisper. As therapeutic as that was and as close to Dean as you feel right now, it took a lot out of you.  “Stay with me?” You ask.

Dean picks you up and carries you to the bed. He lays you down gently and slides in the covers with you. Laying in his arms, it doesn’t take you long to fall asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. So. I was originally going to have this chapter longer but I decided to split it into two because I felt there was too much going on for just one chapter. You shall see next chapter what I am talking about ;)


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovelies!
> 
> Get ready for this chapter. 
> 
> (See the end of the chapter for notes.)

You wake up in Dean’s arms. It is the safest you have felt in a long time. There are no barriers between the two of you since you told him everything. You look at his face, sound asleep. Suddenly, you realize why you are awake. Dean’s phone is ringing, loudly. You lift yourself up and kiss Dean on the lips. “Hey, your phone.”

He groans and pulls himself out of bed to answer his phone. “What Sam? It’s two in the morning.” You hear the hum of Sam’s voice over the phone.

You cock your eyebrow up at him. He shrugs and says, “He found all of the ingredients and is on his way. Looks like we don’t have a ton of time left to ourselves. But the good news is, we are one step closer to that dick who took you.” He climbs into bed with you, wrapping his arms around you, pulling your back against him.

“That’s good.” You tell him as you put your hand against your head.

“You okay?” He asks.

“Yeah, just a headache. They have been happening since that demon attacked me.” You tell him lightly. “It’s not a big deal, it’s just a headache.”

“I hate that you got hurt.” He whispers.

You turn around to look him in the eye. There it is. The guilt. “Dean Winchester, don’t you dare feel guilty for this.”

“Why not? It wouldn’t have happened if you didn’t get mixed up with me.” He tells you.

“You’re right. If I didn’t get mixed up with you, I’d be dead already. But some bozo and his brother saved my life. Many times, might I add.” You try to lift the mood with a little sarcasm.

“Wait. Who’s the bozo? Me or Sam?” He asks you curious.

“My lips are sealed on that account.” You smile at him.

“I bet I can figure out a way to make you talk.” He smirks at you.

“Prove it.” You challenge him, looking in his eyes.

Before you can figure out how he did it, you are under him with your hands pinned by your head. Dean presses his lips against yours with more force than he ever has before. You can feel your body reacting. There is a warm sensation spreading through your lower belly, and your muscles react deep within you. You move your lips in sync with his, a little breathless. His lips trail your neck and you get a chance to breathe.

“Wanna tell me now?” He asks into your skin,

Giggling, you give him a playful “nope.”

He lets himself trail kisses across your collarbone and to the edge of your tank top that is sitting low on your breast. You feel his hands slide under the hem of your shirt and you sit up to help him lift it off of you. Laying there in nothing more than your panties and a smile, you know he can see your scars. He releases your arms and trails each scar with his fingers.

“God, you’re beautiful.” He whispers in awe.

You reach your hands up and start taking off any clothing that covers his body. Lifting his black t-shirt over his head, you stop to gaze at his form. Your fingers trace his chest and travel down his body. How the hell is this man yours?

Before you can think anything else, his lips connect with your body again, this time at your knee. He peppers kisses up your thigh, making you gasp.

“Before I go any farther, I need you to tell me ‘yes’ Sweetheart. I want you to be sure this is what you want.” He murmurs as he sucks your inner thigh. 

“Hell yes.” You gasp.

\-------------------------------------------

You wake up to the sun shining through the curtains of the motel. It was a very long night and you didn’t get to sleep until late. You lay in Dean’s arms, smelling his scent all around you. There is still faint throbbing between your legs because of how much orgasmic abuse it went through the night before. Dean Winchester is a god. There is no way you will be happy with anyone else after him.

You’re head is laying in the crook of his shoulder and his arms are wrapped around you. You start to play with his fingers, smiling when you remember that he is good with his hands. He is still asleep, and you don’t want to move and wake him up, but you really have to go to the bathroom. As gently as you can, you lift his arm up and slide out of the covers to head into the bathroom.

After you are done, you wash your face and decide to take a shower. You are sure you smell interesting and a shower sounds amazing right now. Climbing in, you take your time, using your favorite shampoo and body wash. Wanting to get more time out of your shower, especially because no one is pounding on the door waiting in line to clean themselves, you use some of your body scrubs. It always feels amazing against your skin when you use the scrubs to get all of the dead skin off you.

You feel so relaxed, letting the hot water run over your skin that it takes you a minute to realize the water is slowly getting cold. You turn off the water, sighing, and wrap yourself in a towel. Drying off, you notice there are fingertip shaped bruises on your body that look new. They are mainly on your hips and forearms. They don’t hurt, but if anyone has a brain, they will be able to tell what they are from. You also have several hickeys on your body. Jeez, you bruise easy.

Looking around, you can’t find your clothes. Shit. You didn’t bring them in with you. At least it’s only Dean in the room, you think. Making sure the towel is at least loosely wrapped around you, you open the door. Only to be greeted by Sam, standing in front of you.

He looks down on your body and immediately looks away, cheeks turning a red color. “Oh, God. Sorry, I didn’t … Sorry.” He stammers.

You squeak and hide behind the door. “Um Sam, can you just … can you throw me my bag?” You ask him.

“Sure.” He calls and slides your bag into the bathroom.

You shut the door and curse quietly. Okay it’s not that big of a deal because you are covered for the most part. You groan because you know he saw one of the hickeys on your chest. Welp. It isn’t real until the family knows, you guess. You were just hoping for more than a few hours to have it to yourself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAAAYYYYYY SO! 1. I'm sorry, I am terrible at writing smut. Also, I think leaving y'all to your imagination is a little better.  
> 2\. I know this was super short, but like I said, I didn't want to mix this with the tense moment in the last chapter.   
> 3\. I am so proud of the reader. GET IT GIRL!!!!!  
> I will post the next chapter tomorrow.  
> kay, bye!


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovelies!
> 
> Short-ish chapter this time. Enjoy!

Sam and Dean are sitting around the table in a deep conversation when you come out of the bathroom. When they suddenly stop, you have a sneaky suspicion, the conversation was about you. Deciding you don’t want to know, you ignore their behavior.

“So, what’s the story? Did you find everything you needed?” You ask Sam, while you brush out your wet hair, leaving it free to air dry.

“Uh, yeah. I did. So, we just need to do the spell and we can find Meg. Maybe get some answers and get this over with. Then you can go home.” Sam tells you, looking hopeful.

“Right.” You murmur and look over at Dean, who winks at you, a smile playing at his lips. “So, what’s the holdup? We should do the spell and get going.”

“Well, we need some blood. For some reason it has to be female blood. Maybe Crowley was just pulling our chains, but I want to make sure we follow his instructions. So…” He looks at you with an apologetic look.

“Oh. Yeah. Okay. Um, just take what you need. This is good.” You tell them, walking over.

Dean raises an eyebrow at you. “You sure you’re okay with this?” He asks you.

“Yeah. I just can’t do it myself. Can one of you …?” You ask. You had a weird thing about hurting yourself. You figure your brain rationalizes that with being hurt by others, you wanted to make sure you didn’t hurt yourself. Even when you stub your toe by accident, it makes you feel terrible.

“Sure. I just need your hand, Sweetheart.” Dean reaches for your hand and gently pulls you over to the bowl that is set out for the spell. He takes out a knife and starts to press it into your palm, but you pull it away.

“Seriously? That is the worst place to cut yourself. Do you know how long it takes for a palm to heal with all of the moving parts? I want to be able to use my hand. Use my arm, at least it wont hurt with every move.”

Dean looks at you, taken aback for a moment. “I didn’t even think about that.” He admits. Chuckling, he lifts the sleeve of your shirt, but stops when he sees the bruises. His eyes flash to yours. “Did I … was that me?” he asks you.

You just shrug. “It’s not bad. They don’t hurt.”

“I’m sorry. I should have been more careful.” He tells you.

“Hey, don’t ever apologize for good sex. I would take much more than this to relive last night.” You tell him, trying to make him understand that it really is not a big deal.

“And I am officially grossed out.” You hear from Sam. Shit. You forgot he was there.

“Sorry, Sam.” You glance at him with a small smile. “Now, the spell?” you say, looking back at Dean.

Nodding, he places your arm over the bowl and you feel the knife slide against your skin releasing some of your blood. He does it fast, so it doesn’t hurt as much, but you still wince and grab his arm with your free hand. Thankfully the spell does not need a lot of blood, so soon, you are wrapping your arm up in a small bandage.

There is a map laid out with the bowl next to it. Sam has been adding ingredients, which includes something that looks like a bone. You seriously don’t want to know what it is. When all the contents have been placed in the container, Sam stirs it all together. You hear a squishing sound, that makes you feel a bit nauseated.

“Ostende mihi illum quem quaero” Sam chants over the bowl before lighting a match and throwing it in. A burst of flames shoots into the air, thankfully not high enough to hit the ceiling. When the flames go out, he pours the contents on the map. You are expecting it to go all over the place but instead stays within the confines of the map. It pools together into a thick sludge that crawls across the map. Eventually every inch of the map is covered except one town name.

“Well, looks like we are going to Y/H/T” Sam sighs, with relief.

“Wait, are you sure?” You ask him, slightly panicked.

“Yeah, pretty sure. What, you don’t trust in my ability to read a map?” Sam scoffs lightly.

“No, it’s not that. It’s just, that’s where I grew up.” You look over at Dean and see his jaw clench. It was subtle, you wouldn’t have even noticed if you had not spent the last month staring at him every chance you got.

“Well it’s out best lead so far. Let’s get packed and head out.” Sam announces before heading to gather his things.

Dean walks over to you and puts a hand on your shoulder. “Hey, you okay?” He asks.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” You ask him, trying to hide your anxiety about going back to Y/H/T. You swore you would never go back there, but honestly if it means that you can find the people who are trying to hurt you, then that is exactly what you will do.

He looks at you for a second and nods his head. He squeezes your shoulder lightly before walking past you to gather his things. You have a feeling that he knows you are lying, and you are grateful that he isn’t trying to get the information out of you.

\-----------------------------------

You know you and the boys have a long drive ahead of you. It is a good three to four days of driving, although, with Dean behind the wheel it might take less. Still, you are looking forward to the car ride. You miss being able to watch trees stream by you in a blur.

You sit in the front of the Impala with Dean because Sam insisted that he needed to get some sleep. He had been driving all night, so he told you he was tired. You glance back to see him spread out in the back, barely having enough room to lay down with his knees bent. Honestly, he looks uncomfortable, but he has been out for two hours now and has not moved an inch.

“What’s on your mind?” Dean asks you.

“I was just thinking about how uncomfortable Sam looks.” You tell him, smirking.

“Yeah, well, we have slept through worse conditions. He’s fine. He’ll bitch later about his neck but being that tall, you can only get so comfortable, poor bastard.” Dean tells you.

You chuckle in acknowledgment and continue to look at the scenery fly by. You sit for a long time, not blinking. You see from the corner of your eye that he glances at you for a brief moment. You feel fingers wrap around your hand. “Breathe, Sweetheart.” He murmurs to you.

You realize that you are not breathing and force air into your lungs, making sure to exhale slowly. You squeeze his hand, not looking his way. He tugs your hand a bit, so you look at him. Nodding his head, he pulls your hand toward him. You know he wants you to scoot next to him, and you have no problem conceding to his wishes.

You scoot over to him and he puts his arm around you. You place your hand on his right thigh and lay your head on his shoulder. Sighing with contentment, you think, ‘I could get used to driving like this’. No demons or hurt or crazy parents. Just Sam, Dean, and you in the Impala, visiting new places. You know that will never be a possibility because there are always going to be demons or a monster lurking in the distance. Could you fit into this life with them? Could you handle the death and the pain and the constant fear for your life? Of course, you can, if it means you would get to stay with Dean, you think.

You reach over to the radio and turn on “Simple Man”. That song could be played on repeat for days and you wouldn’t mind. You curl into Dean, watching the road and the trees. You feel lips at your forehead and know that you are going to be okay.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovelies!  
> (See end for chapter notes)

You have been in the Impala for two days and Dean swears today is the last day. You are almost to Y/H/T, and you are getting anxious. It holds memories that you would rather forget, but if you stop looking for Meg, you would never have the answers that you need.

Pulling up to a local motel, Sam hops out to grab a room for the three of you. You stay put with Dean, deciding you want to see as little of the town as you can. “Do you think we are going to find her?” You ask.

“It shouldn’t be a problem. There are demon omens all over the town and all we have to do is ask some questions. As soon as Meg figures out we are here, she may even come to us.” He explains. “So that means, keep holy water on you at all times.”

You look over at him and nod. “Wouldn’t go anywhere without it after last time. It really was stupid of me to have it in my bag.” You tell him.

“Happens to the best of us Sweetheart.” Dean tells you as Sam comes out of the office. He nods for Dean to follow him in the Impala to the room. Thankfully you are on the bottom level, so it would be easy to get away if needed.

When the three of you are in the room, you try to claim the bed nearest the door, but Dean stops you. “Actually, we are going to take the other one. Safer that way.” He tells you. It makes sense and that is what you have been doing this entire time but that was only because they picked the beds before you had the chance to be conscious.

“So, what’s the plan?” You ask the boys turning to them. You didn’t want to stay in this town longer than absolutely necessary.

The brothers glanced at each other. Over the last couple of months, you learned that when they did that, it was never good. They were either fighting about something or they knew something they didn’t want to tell you. Squaring your shoulders, you glare at them. “Spit it out.”

“Well, we have been talking.” Sam starts, but Dean interrupts him.

“Disagreeing is more like it.” Dean says quickly.

“Yeah, because you are being a freaking child, Dean.” Sam fires back.

“Oh, I’m a child because I don’t want to throw her to the wolves and just see what happens?!” Dean yells.

“Wait. What?” You are a little taken aback. “I need this fight in English, not Winchester.”

“He wants to use you as bait.” Dean tells you, obviously not liking the idea.

“No. I never said that. We just want you to come with us to ask around. Maybe if you are seen, it will lure out some demons and word will get back to Meg.” Sam defends himself.

So that’s what Dean meant when he said Meg might find you. You think about the possibilities and make a mental pros and cons list in your head. You will have to see the town and possibly run into people from your past but on the flip side, it might help you leave faster and get answers to end this. You needed to face this but, how could you? Well, you remind yourself, you will be with Sam and Dean the entire time and that is much better than doing it on your own.

“I’ll do it.” You tell them. Nothing like getting back into the swing of things like luring out a demon. You load up your holy water and put a knife in your boot just in case you need it. Dean hands you a small pistol that you hide in your jeans under your flannel. You have never really worn flannel but since staying with Sam and Dean, you have come to appreciate the feel and look of the lumberjack style. You have adopted the look because honestly it makes you look like a badass.

Heading out, Dean ends up parking in the middle of downtown. You see the laundromat that you spent time in when you were younger. You used to go to the local school before you were pulled out when your father died. It is surreal to walk by it and see where you met your best friend on the playground. The little restaurant that your family used to visit constantly is still there and it looks just like the last time you saw it. You point out all this to the boys and tell them about your great life as a small child. You try not to see the urgent care where you ended up on occasion because you were malnourished. Your mother told everyone that you refused to eat, and everyone thought you had an eating disorder. The only reason you were brought to the center was to make your mother look like a good parent. Good times.

Walking into a local diner, you sit down in a booth next to Dean. The waitress comes to the table to take your order and you notice that she is pretty. She is tall and thin with long blonde hair.

“Hi! Can I get y’all started with something to drink?” She asks you.

“I’ll take whatever you bring me, Sweetheart.” Dean says winking at her.

You stare at him for a moment before giving her your order. You decide that it really isn’t worth it to mention his comment. You know that he is naturally a flirt, but still it takes you aback for a second.

“So, who are we going to ask about Meg?” You ask Sam, ready for answers.

“Well, something we do is ask the waitstaff because they tend to talk to a lot of people.” He tells you. It makes sense, honestly.

The waitress comes back with your drinks and you order food. Before she leaves, Dean flashes a smile at her. “Hey, can I ask you something?”

“Sure thing, honey.” She responds. You bite your bottom lip to keep from saying anything.

“We are in town looking for an old friend and we wanted to surprise her. Thing is, we don’t really know where to find her right now. Her name is Meg. Kind of short, dark brown hair down to her shoulders. Feisty attitude. Sound familiar?”

“Yeah, actually. She comes in every now and again for the past few days. She normally comes in right before closing if that helps.” She tells him, smiling.

She walks away, swinging her hips. Sam and Dean both stare after her, and you bite down on your lip with more force. A coppery taste fills your mouth and you realize you need to ease up on your lip.

Dean turns to you. “See, I know how to get information. A little flirt here, a smile there it will get the job done most every time.” He smiles, looking proud of himself.

You raise your eyebrow at him. You shake your head and nurse your drink, deciding it was a good play but you still didn’t like seeing him flirt with someone else.

When the check comes, the waitress looks at Dean and tells him, “By the way, I’m off at 10 tonight.” She winks at him, and it makes your blood boil.  

Dean smiles at her politely but then he does something you were not ready for. He puts his arm around you and pulls you close. “Well, Sweetheart, I’ll be busy tonight. But I hope you have a good shift.”

She gives you a startled look, almost as if she thought you were Dean’s sister at first. You can’t help but let a smile spread across your face as she leaves.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------

The impala comes to a stop on the edge of the property around 8 pm. You are in the back, leaning your head on the front seat. You are settled in for a long night of stalking the joint for Meg. She would be there, if the waitress was telling the truth.

You sit in relative silence for over an hour. The only thing that is said are small phrases, which don’t stimulate your brain enough to keep you awake. You suck at sitting and waiting for people. Your eyelids close only to snap open every minute or so. Dean glances back at you and you snap your eyes open, blinking rapidly. You didn’t know that he had been looking in the rearview mirror for the past few minutes.

He turns in his seat and smiles at you. “You know, you can lay down and sleep if you want to.”

Your eyes snap open. “I’m fine, really. I can stay awake.” You mumble.

Your eyes betray you and slide shut again. You feel lips on your forehead and you hear Dean whisper in your ear, “Get some sleep. Sammy and I got this. I’ll wake you up if we see her.”

You open your eyes to look at him ready to respond, but you hear Sam’s voice and suddenly you are very awake. “Guys!”

You look to see where he is pointing. You see a woman who is about your height. She looks confident by the way she walks. “Is that her?” You ask.

“In the bitchy flesh.” Dean tells you.

“So. Do we go in and talk to her?” You ask. You feel like you are asking a lot of questions, but they just keep pouring out of you.

“Nope. We are going to wait until she comes out.” Dean tells you before climbing out of the car.

\------------------------------------------------------

You are standing next to Dean around the corner of the diner. There is a devil’s trap separating you and the corner. Sam is around the other side with the same setup. The hope is that she would come around one of the corners and get stopped. If she didn’t, there was a plan B.

Meg stalks out of the diner and starts walking toward you and Dean. You hold your breath and wait, your hand tense around the flask of holy water. She takes a few more steps but stops and looks around.

“Come out, come out, wherever you are.” She says in a singsong voice. Shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. I wanted to post this and let you all know things that are going on. I have been posting one chapter a day and that is still my goal, however, this weekend is going to be crazy for me. I probably won't be able to post a chapter until Monday or possibly Tuesday. I have a memorial service to attend later today and another one tomorrow (Both deaths came a bit sudden and it just so happens the services are back to back. Joy.) I'm so sorry for the delay but I wanted to let you guys know that I will be posting soon and I am not giving up on the story. Thank you for sticking with me. <3


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovelies!
> 
> So turns out that being super stressed heightens my creativity instead of killing it. Who knew? So, here is a chapter!

Stepping out from behind the building, Dean looks at Meg.

“Meg. Long time, no see.” He tells her.

“Yeah, I’m not overly sentimental about that. So, where’s Bullwinkle?” She asks with a glint in her eye.

You peek around the corner to see Sam walk out from his hiding place. He saunters up to stand next to Dean.

“Meg.” He says with a bit of contempt.

“Hiya Sammy. Knew you boys couldn’t stay away. I’m flattered really, makes me all dewy knowing that you were thinking about me.” She taunts the boys. Her eyes flash to Dean. “Though, I’m not the only one Dean-o thinks about nowadays. I gotta say, makes a girl jealous. So, where’s the lucky little turnip?”

“None of your business.” Dean snaps.

“Oh ho ho, a little protective, are we?” Her eyes flick over to where you’re standing. “Someone should probably tell your girlfriend that ‘hiding’ means not sticking her pretty little head out from the corner. Y/N Y/L/N come on down!” She yells.

“How do you know her name?” Sam asks.

“Did you think I had my head in the sand all this time? Everyone is out looking for her. Some big fish want her.” She turns to Dean. “Sorry Dean. You should pick your flames more careful next time.”

Stepping out from behind the diner, you call out, “I think he is doing just fine.” You stop next to Dean and reach for his hand, just because you want to shove it in her face. Relief fills your lungs when he gives your hand a gentle squeeze and then releases you.

“So, what do I owe this imposition?” Meg asks the three of you.

“What do you know about a demon named Aelric?” Dean cuts to the chase.

“Aelric? Is that who’s behind all this running around?” You are sure you can see fear in her eyes.

“What, you know people are after Y/N, but you don’t know who put the hit out?” Dean asks.

“I make it a point not to ask stupid questions.” Meg explains, getting annoyed.  

“Yeah, well we need to know where to find him.” Sam says.

“No. You need to run away fast and far. Aelric makes Alastair look like a saint. Sure, he studied under him, but what can I say? He’s devoted to DIY.” You have to admit, you like her sass.

“Alright, thanks for the tip. So how can we find him?” You finally find your voice.

“Oh, sweetie. You don’t find him. He finds you.” She tells you, laughing.

Awesome. So, you had to just wait? There isn’t anything you can do to make the process go faster.

“Do you know the fastest way to draw him out?” You ask.

“Wow, you do have a death wish, don’t you?” Meg asks.

“Just tell us and keep your opinions to yourself, bitch.” Dean snaps at her.

Anger flashes in Megs eyes and she tilts her head. Suddenly, you feel yourself flying backwards. You try to angle yourself, so you will land on your feet, but you hit the side of the building and find yourself pinned to it. You look around to see that Sam and Dean are pinned as well, with Dean in between you and Sam. Your feet are hanging above the ground and you can’t move anything.

“You know, I was being nice, but I’m officially done. You disrespect me, I hurt you.” Meg snarls.

You hear Dean grunt and you look over at him to see his face scrunched up in pain.

“What are you doing to him?” You ask her in a terrified voice. “Stop it!”

She smiles at you before you feel the sensation of a heavy weight pressing on your body. It feels as if you are being crushed by an unseen force. It’s what you imagine being crushed to death by boulders feels like. You bite your lip to keep from making any sound but when you feel like your bones are going to snap under the pressure, you let a cry escape from your lips.

“You bitch!” Dean snarls.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I couldn’t hear you over the screams of the people you love.” The sarcasm drips off her tongue. You hear Sam grunt in pain.

You feel a familiar burning sensation across your stomach and a scream bursts from your lips as you feel warm blood oozing out of the deep gash. Tears spring to your eyes but you do your best to blink them away.

“Now. I know the last time we saw each other, you two chuckleheads tried to kill me. And that was after we had a deal. Call me sentimental but I remember a time when someone’s word meant something.” She smiles at the two men at your right. “I never did properly thank you for that.”

You hear the boys grunting in pain, and you try to look over to see what was going on but before you could, you feel an odd sensation. You try to take in a breath, but your body doesn’t respond. You try again. Nothing happens. Oh, God. She is suffocating you. You think of all the ways you can get out of this and have to admit the list is extremely short. You look over to Dean and see that he has a cut on his cheek and is trying to struggle against the invisible weight. He meets your eyes and sees that you can’t breathe.

“Y/N?!” He speaks in alarm. “You bitch, let her go. She had nothing to do with the Crowley thing!” He yells.

You hear her laugh. “Oh, but you care about her so that makes her fair game.” She smiles.

“I’d say not.” You hear a familiar British voice. “Hello, boys.”

Meg spins around as you fall from the wall, suddenly able to breathe on your own. Air fills your lungs and you find yourself coughing to make up for the lack of oxygen. You are on your hands and knees, one hand grasping your stomach, where you feel blood seep through your fingers. Dean checks Sam to make sure he is okay, and then he turns to you. He looks at your wound and mutters “son of a bitch.” He helps you to your feet and you lean on the wall for a moment to steady yourself. Taking a deep breath, you push past the pain and stand on your own two feet. You are not going to let her or Crowley see you weak.

“Crowley.” Meg greets the demon.

“Whore.” He returns. “You know. I have been looking for you and I finally got the opportunity to flush you out.” He turns to Sam and Dean. “Thanks for that by the way.”

“Well, good for you but too bad it doesn’t mean anything.” Meg pulls out an angel blade and runs toward Crowley. He gives an indignant sigh and flicks his wrist, sending her sprawling across the lot. He rolls his eyes and turns to the three of you. “Now. You got your answers, and you brought me to her so I can finally end this daft Lucifer following. By the way.” He looks at you. “Lovely to see you again, Pet.”

Your mouth goes dry. At this point you want to stab Crowley in the throat. You glare at him, not bothering to respond.

Crowley turns to look at Meg only to find that she isn’t there. He turns and searches around the area. “Hmm.” He says.

“Guess it doesn’t pay to monologue.” You tell him with a smirk.

His eyes flicker to you and he smiles. “One day, you and I are going to have a nice chat all on our own. I’m looking forward to it. And boys, Dick is waiting to be handled still. Don’t make me wait too long.” He reminds Sam and Dean. You blink, and he is gone. What. The. Hell.

“What just happened?” You ask,

“Well, Meg is a douche. Crowley is an even bigger douche. But we got something we can use.” Dean tells you.

“We just did all this, to be back to my original idea. Nice, wasting three days.” Sam tells Dean in irritation.

“How was I supposed to know?” Dean asks, getting defensive.

“Guys.” You call to them. “Drop it. We need to get out of here and figure out what to do next.” You say, still holding your stomach. The gash is deep, and you will probably need stitches because the bleeding hasn’t stopped. Dean looks at you and sighs.

You start walking to the Impala but it takes some effort. You have to bite your lip to keep all sound in as you walk. When you move too fast, blood seeps through your fingers and you hiss. Dean looks at your stomach and you see something flash behind his eyes before it’s replaced with calm. Sam stops and tries to help you walk but you push him away. “I’m not being carried just for one cut in my stomach. I’ve had worse.” You say, taking a deep breath and plunging forward.

Reaching the Impala, you slide into the back seat and lay down. You are dizzy and tired. All you want to do is go back to the motel room and sleep for a couple of days. Dean reaches back and hands you something. It’s his shirt, you realize, confused. “Keep pressure on that cut. We’ll be back to the motel soon and I’ll take a look at it.” He tells you, explaining.

You press the cloth to your body and let the pain radiate through you. Through the pain, you think about how far you have come since being a child. You have to admit, you are becoming a badass, and you like it.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Lovelies!
> 
> Here is the chapter for the day. I am working on the next few chapters and things are speeding up. Enjoy!

Back in the motel room, you are sitting on the bathroom sink with your shirt off. It is not uncomfortable to sit there in just your bra in front of the boys when you are going to be stitched up, mainly because you don’t care about anything else but the pain that will be radiating through your abdomen. Sam is going to stitch your stomach up because he has the better hands for stitches. You have told Dean that he can just leave you to it, but he stands by your side.

“This is going to hurt.” Sam tells you. He is holding a bottle of whiskey and you take it from him before he can sterilize your wound. You take a large swig of the liquid and it burns going down. Looking at your stomach, you decide to take two more swigs of the numbing liquor. When you are done, you decide the best thing would be to see it coming. So, naturally, you pour it over your wound yourself. This elicits a scream from you and looks of admiration from the boys.

“Let’s get this over with.” You tell Sam as you take another swig of the whiskey.

“Alright, ya drunk, gimme that.” Dean tells you, taking the bottle out of your hand.

Sam starts to sew you up. The gash is much worse than you originally thought so it is going to take several stitches to close you up. Thankfully the alcohol soon takes effect, but not before you feel the first few stitches being driven through your skin. You grab onto Dean but force yourself to stay quiet. You never want stitches again.

“Talk to me.” You say. “Tell me something to get my mind off this.” You tell the boys. Mainly you are talking to Dean because you want Sam to concentrate on your stitches.

Dean smirks and leans in to whisper in your ear. “You are the sexiest woman I have ever seen. When you heal, we are going to celebrate. First, I’m going to …”

“As much as I would love to hear the rest of that sentence, and believe me, I do, I meant something that would distract me in a non-hormonal way.” You glance at Sam, who is concentrating on your stitches with such intensity, you are not sure if he heard Dean or not.

“Alright, Sweetheart, what do you want me to say?” Dean asks, understanding what you are thinking.

“Tell me about the plan to lure Aelric out.” You throw at him.

“Well, we don’t have a plan yet. But, I mean, we could just do some hunts and see if that draws him out, or we can capture some demons and get them to talk.” Dean throws ideas around for the next few minutes. Some border on insane but one sticks in your brain.

“We’ll figure it out. Promise.” Sam tells you. He pats your knee and smiles at you. “You’re all done. Take some pain meds and you’ll be fine.”

You nod and hop down from the counter, which was a bad move. The mixture of blood loss and the amount of alcohol that is flowing through your system makes you lightheaded. You almost fall to the ground, but Dean catches you. Sighing, you try to make yourself stand on your own. It works for about two seconds before you are in Dean’s arms again.

“Alright, ya lightweight. Let’s get you to bed.” He says while he half carries you to the bed and sits you on it.

“Dean, I’m going to take a shower. You should probably get her into some different clothes that are, you know, less bloody.” Sam calls over to Dean, who nods.

Sam disappears into the bathroom and Dean goes over to your bag to grab you something to wear for bed. Coming over to you he helps you into a tank top. You reach around yourself to take off your bra, but you can’t get the clasps undone. You are too disoriented and woozy to concentrate on your fingers. “ugh” You mutter.

“Here Sweetheart, let me.” Dean tells you. He reaches underneath your tank top and unclasps your bra and slides the straps off of you.

“Y’know, this was WAY sexier last time.” You tell him. “Now I can’t even undress m’self because I’m weak.” You can feel your words slur but you don’t care. “All I do is get hurt. You save me though. Have I told you that I think you’re sexy?” You smile at him.

He laughs lightly. “I think I figured it out. Come on, lay down.”

You do as you are told, and he helps you out of your jeans. You feel his fingers slide under the waistband and they trail your skin as they push the fabric off you. You lay in nothing but a thin top and your underwear. His eyes linger up and down your body with lust before he focuses on your face.

“Night Sweetheart. Get some rest.” Dean tells you before leaning down and pressing his lips to yours. Before you know what you are doing, you grab onto him and pull him into you. Your hands find the bottom of his shirt and start to pull it up, but hands catch yours.

“Oh, you have no idea how much I want this, but you are very drunk, and you’re hurt.” He tells you, pulling out of your grasp. He pulls the blanket over you to cover your body. He wraps you up and lays down with you so he can hold you, leaving the blanket as a barrier between the two of you. “You need to get some sleep.”

“Stay with me?” You ask.

“Always.” He tells you. You feel lips at your forehead before you fall into a deep sleep.

\--------------------------------------

Dean POV

Dean loves holding you while you sleep. He stares at your face, wondering what you see in him. It’s obvious that you care for him because you are almost always looking at him or brushing against him while you do mundane tasks. When Meg hurt you, he felt sick to his stomach at the thought of you being hurt. At that moment, he wanted to do anything he could to take that pain for you.

Sam walks out of the bathroom and sees you sleeping. “How is she?” He asks his brother.

Dean chuckles. “She’ll be okay. She’s a fighter, man.”

Sam gives a small laugh. “Yeah, don’t I know it. She’d make a hell of a hunter.”

“I don’t want this life for her, Sam.” Dean says.

“Then why are you shacking up with her? What, are you just going to leave her after all this?” Sam asks, being serious.

Dean’s stomach drops at the thought of leaving you. “I don’t know man. She doesn’t deserve this life, but I can’t stay away from her. I guess we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.”

“Yeah, I guess. Just, don’t give up on the idea that she would do well if she stayed with us.” Sam says before gives his brother a sympathetic look.

Being with you makes sense to Dean. After Bobby and Cas went out like they did, Dean didn’t think he could let anyone else in. Now he lays here with a woman that he is addicted to. He has told you everything about his life. It always surprises him, what responses you can elicit from him.

Once again, he thinks, ‘what the hell is she doing to me?’

 

\--------------------------------------

The next morning, you have a headache and your abdomen is sore. When you twist too much, the skin pulls, and you have to be very careful of how you handle your body. If you pull the stitches, it will just cause you more pain in the long run. You are eating breakfast with the boys, when you bring up the next problem the three of you will face.

“So. How are we going to do this?” You know that you are not being very clear, but they understand as soon as you speak.

“Well, we talked about that a bit last night.” Sam tells you. “We are going to see about making him come to us. We need you for part of it though. How do you feel about being bait?” He asks you.

You consider the notion. You know that Sam and Dean wouldn’t let anything serious happen to you, if they could help it. Somehow, you are going to have to get Aelric to come to you and this was your best shot.

“I’m up for it. I have an idea about making him find me. I think it’s time I went back to were he took me.” You are not sure if you still had your apartment because you have been gone for two months but being the person you are, you had the rent paid up a couple of months in advanced.

“Where is that?” Sam asks you.

“He took me from my bed. So, I guess it’s time for me to go home. The thing is, if he sees you two, he won’t come anywhere near me if he is smart.”

“What? No, n-, hell no.” Dean understands what you are saying, and you know there is going to be a fight about this.

“Dean, we need to find him. Do you have a better option?” You ask him. You are okay with being bait and even going alone, if it means you can kill Aelric.

“I can go with you, pose as your boyfriend.” Dean tells you. “That gives you someone as backup and if we are lucky, he will still come for you. Bottom line is, you’re not going alone.” Dean stares at you, eyes filled with concern and intense determination. You know he cares about you, but you didn’t want to mess this up.

“I think it’s a good idea, Y/N.” Sam agrees.

You try to argue but arguing with the Winchesters when they agreed on something is like trying to tell the Earth not to spin. It just doesn’t work out.

“Fine.” You say after you can see that you are not getting anywhere with them. “Let’s get going then.” You say but Dean is quick to shoot that down.

“Nope. If we are going up against this guy, you are going to take some time to heal. You can’t even put your shoes on without help right now.” Dean looks at you with something bordering pity. “Plan is, we wait until you heal. We gather as much information about alternative ways to get him here in the meantime. Then we go get the bastard.”

“But I…” You start before Sam cuts you off.

“I think Dean is right. You’re in no shape to be doing anything like fighting. Plus, there’s something else.”

“What else could there be?” You ask.

The boys exchange one of those looks where you know they have been talking about you behind your back. “Well, see, we need to be prepared for Ellen to know where you live now. She obviously took it hard when we killed Andrew, so she is out for you. It wouldn’t surprise me if she was looking for you. If you go home, you could draw her to you.” He tells you.

“Great. Not only do I have a homicidal demon after me, I also have to be worried about the woman who tortured me showing up. Hey, maybe they will kill each other, and our problems would be solved!” You try to think of an easy solution to this mess. You know that the road ahead won’t be that easy, but hey, a girl can wish.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Lovelies!
> 
> Here is the next chapter. I am working on the next chapter right now. I'm so excited!

You are going insane. For the past four days, Dean has not let you do anything. All you are allowed to do is sit on the bed or walk to the bathroom. You try to get up for the third time in an hour when he stops you.

“Where are you going?” He asks.

“I’m going to kill someone if I sit anymore.” You tell him as you stand and start to pace the room. You make it a few rotations before there is pain shooting through your abdomen. You push it away and keep pacing but Dean sees you wince. He is next to you before you can walk away. “I saw that.” He tells you.

“Dean.” You whine. “I’m never going to get better if I stay still. I need to move and do things. Let’s go to the store or take a walk.” You suggest.

“You know you need to be resting. Now park your ass on that bed, or so help me.” He threatens.

“What are you going to do, tie me to the bed?” You ask, challenging him.

There is a glint in his eye and you raise your eyebrows suggestively before he snaps himself out of his haze. “Dammit, Y/N! Stop it.” He snaps. He grabs your arm and drags you to the bed and lightly pushes you to a sitting position.

“How long do I have to sit here and act like a wounded bird?” You ask, pouting your bottom lip out.

Dean rolls his eyes, but he smiles. “Until we can get those stitches out. When Sam gets back, we can look at them, deal?”

“Fine. On one condition.” You tell him.

He looks weary. “What is that?”

“We get our own room for the night.” You tell him with a smile. You pull him to sit on the bed with you.

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea with you being on the mend still.” He hedges.

You look at him for a second before you stand up and put your hands on his shoulders to keep him sitting. You put your left knee on the bed next to him and swing your right leg over him, so you are straddling his lap. You run your hands up his chest and around his neck. You bring your lips to his and feel his hands grip your ass. Pulling back, you see that he looks breathless. His lips are parted slightly, and he looks at you with lust in his gaze.

“Really? You don’t think it’s a good idea?” You ask in a slightly mocking tone.

“When I said not a good idea, it was more of a … a suggestion really. You know, I wouldn’t want to rush you or anything.” He stammers.

You giggle, feeling like you have won. Kissing Dean again, you almost forget about all the demons and the people who are after you. His arm wrap around your waist and he pulls you to him as close as he can. As you mold to his body, you hear the door open. Before you can break away from the kiss, you hear Sam groaning.

“Guys, seriously?” Sam calls to you and Dean.

“Sorry Sam.” You say as you pull away from Dean. You start to climb off Dean, but his hands hold you there. You look at him with questioning eyes and see that he is smirking. “It’s a beautiful thing Sam. Get used to it.” He kisses you again before putting his hands on your hips and lifting you off him like you weigh nothing. He sits you beside him and wraps a possessive arm around you.

“Whatever.” Sam says and turns to you. “Feeling better I’m guessing?” He asks.

“About that. Can you check my stitches to see if they are ready to come out?” You ask as you smile at him.

“Of course.” He says immediately, anything to change the subject. “Step into my office.” He jokes.

You walk into the bathroom and Sam helps you onto the counter. He has been cleaning your wound and checking the stitches every now and again in the bathroom because he is so freaking tall that you sitting on the sink is the best place for him to be able to see it without getting on the ground. You lift your shirt to uncover the bandaged wound and he takes a look.

“You’re healing great, but I want to leave them in for another day or so. Also, stop trying to seduce my brother while you are supposed to be taking it easy.” He warns you.

“I didn’t…” You start.

“Bull. It doesn’t help you, and he will only be able to say ‘no’ for so long before his brain short circuits. And I don’t want to see it, it’s gross.” He laughs before helping you down from the counter.

“Hey Sam.” You call after him as he turns to leave. “Thank you. Not just for making sure I’m okay, but for being supportive and all that.” You tell him, giving him an appreciative smile.

“You got it, Shrimp.” He tells you.

“Shrimp?” You ask.

“Yeah, because you’re so tiny. Deal with it.”

\--------------------------------------------------

Your stitches are finally out, and the boys have a plan to head out in the morning for your apartment. The plan that you have come up with is the only one that makes sense. Your apartment will be demon trapped and you will go about your life until Aelric tracks you down. Hopefully, it wont take too long for him to figure out where you are.

There is still tenderness in your abdomen, but you couldn’t care less. As much as you enjoyed sleeping next to Dean and all the flirting and kisses, you need a night alone with him. Recently you had been wearing shirts that you knew were low cut enough the show everything you had if you leaned down. You also dropped a lot of objects when Sam was occupied with something else and Dean was looking your way. Was it a manipulative slutty move? Yes. Did you care? Not particularly. Every time Dean looked at you, he would get this look in his eye that you knew meant he was trying to function like a human being, but he couldn’t stop thinking about you. It filled you with a sense of power and pride. You are starting to get a bit addicted to that feeling.

Sam is sitting at the table with his laptop and you look over at Dean, who is sitting next to you. You raise your eyebrows and give him the most sexually suggestive look you can muster.

His lips part slightly and he nods. Looking at Sam, he says, “Hey Sammy, can I talk to you outside for a second?”

Confused, Sam tells him that he is busy.

“Sam, whatever you are doing can wait.” Dean urges his brother.

“Dude just tell me. It’s not like Y/N won’t hear about it anyway.” Sam says impatiently.

Dean looks at you and you shrug. “Okay then. You need to get your own room tonight.” Dean tells him.

“What? Why?” Sam asks, perplexed.

“Sam.” You say, locking eyes with him. You tilt your head and smile.

“Oh.” Sam says surprised. You see his cheeks turn red and he clears his throat. “Wait, why can’t you guys find another room?”

“Because all our stuff is here and it’s easier for you to take your things. Also, I will beat you if you are not out of this room in ten minutes.” Dean tells him.

“Whatever, man. I’ll just do some research or something.” Sam says standing up to gather his things. “I’ll see you guys tomorrow morning.” He says as he walks out of the door.

You hear the click of the door a second before you feel Dean’s gaze on you. You look over and see his eyes hungrily skimming down your body. You feel heat settle in your body and your breathing quickens. “Get your ass over here and take off your pants.” You tell him in a breathless tone.

“I thought you’d never ask.” He smirks and strides to you wanting to touch every inch of your body.

\---------------------------------------

You lay in Dean’s arms and it is the best you have felt in weeks. Your head in on his chest and his hand is tracing your spine up and down. It tickles when he does it lightly, but you love it.

“Can I ask you something?” You ask.

“You just did.” He whispers.

Looking at him, you lightly slap his chest. “You know what I mean.” You scold.

“What is it Sweetheart?” He asks, smiling.

You lay your head back on his chest, hiding your face. “When this is all over, and Aelric is dead, where will that leave us?” You ask, almost afraid of the answer.

You feel him stiffen under you. “I don’t know.” He says in a hard voice.

You look at him and try to read his eyes. “Don’t get me wrong, the sex is amazing, and you are amazing. I was just hoping there was something here. You know, other than just sex.” You are bad at asking these things.

Dean sighs and you gear up for rejection. “Y/N …” He starts but his voice fades away. It looks like he wants to say something but is hesitating. By his facial expression, you guess that it isn’t good.

“Never mind. I came into this knowing that I am just someone that is convenient for you to sleep with. I shouldn’t have asked, sorry.” You let the subject drop and start to pull away from his arms, but you are held in place.

“Hey, stop.” He tells you. “Look. This job makes having relationships hard. It’s better if you don’t have ties because those bastards can use it against you. I don’t want you to get hurt. I really don’t, but can’t you see that you are different, more than just a woman I am sleeping with?” He asks you, cradling your cheek in his palm and looking into your eyes.

“Not really. I’m nothing special and with …” You say but he cuts you off.

“Don’t you dare try to tell me that you are not special. Dammit, Y/N. You are the strongest woman I have ever met. You have survived so much and still, you keep swinging. You make me feel things that I didn’t know I still could, so you don’t get to think that you’re nothing. Do you hear me?” He stares intently at you.

There are tears gathering in your eyes and before one can fall, you lift your head and kiss him.

He wants you. Dean Winchester wants you just as you are.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Lovelies!
> 
> Things are moving faster. All the things are going to be happening soon! Get ready.

Your things are packed in the Impala along with the various weapons that the Winchester’s own. It takes you a second for it to hit that you are going home. Sam comes next to you and asks if you are okay. You nod and try to smile. This was your idea, so you can’t chicken out now. “It’s okay, if you are not okay.” He tells you. “This isn’t easy.”

“I’m okay, Sam.” You lie. He looks at you for a long second and just nods. Piling into the Impala, you gear up for an emotionally exhausting trip.

You and Dean play rearview mirror tag the entire way to your apartment and it makes you smile when you catch him looking at you. Last night replays in your head again and you can’t help but smile. Even though you are hunted and there are people after you, this is probably the happiest you have been in a long time, which probably says more about you than anything else. Most of it has to do with Dean but the rest comes from how strong you have gotten. You can effectively kick ass, with all the training you have done with the boys and you are more confident in yourself. Thinking about the future, the possibilities are endless, and that both frightens and excites you.

A day of driving later, you pull up to your apartment. It is surreal looking at the building that you have not seen in almost three months. You wonder if your stuff will still be there and if you can even get into the apartment. Getting out of the Impala, you motion for the boys to follow you. You have always favored the ground floor because sometimes you and stairs just don’t get along. You walk up to your door and put the key in. You sigh in relief when you open the door and see all of your stuff in the same place it was when you left it.

You motion to walk in, but Dean holds you back shaking his head. Both men have their guns out and Dean steps inside first. Sam nods for you to follow him. They do a sweep of the apartment while you stand by the door. It’s not a big place, so it doesn’t take a lot of time.

“Okay, we’re good.” Dean tells you as he walks toward you. “Why don’t you chill in the living room for a minute.” He suggests.

“No, I want to check out the place to see if everything is still here.” You say walking to your bedroom. Dean lightly grabs your arm and stops you.

“The night you were taken. Do you remember anything about it?” He asks you.

Shaking your head slightly, you say, “I remember going to bed and then waking up in that dungeon. Why?” You ask.

“No reason. Hey, why don’t you let Sam and I clean up a bit before you go in. I mean what’s the rush?” He tries to convince you.

You take your arm out of his grasp and step around him heading to your room. Opening the door, what you see makes you take a step back. Your lamp is shattered by your bed and the sheets look like they have deep gashes in them. Papers are thrown everywhere, and your picture frames are broken and strewn across the room. Your clothes are all over the place. It looks like someone tried to tear apart your room.

“What the hell?” You gasp. “What do you think they were looking for?” You ask.

“I don’t know but Sam and I can take care of this. Why don’t you go see if you can find anything in the living room or something?” Dean suggests.

You know you are going to be sleeping here so you need to at least make it habitable, but you are having problems breathing. Seeing your room torn apart hits you harder than you expect, so you agree. Going into the kitchen, you know there is going to be some expired food that you need to get rid of. So, you handle that while the boys are in your bedroom. It is strange to be doing household chores when there was danger waiting on you around the corner.  

\-----------------------------------------

The apartment is picked up and you take an inventory of your possessions to see if anything is missing. To your surprise, nothing is. You theorize that someone was looking for something that you don’t have. You assume it has something to do with your mother. Thankfully, you don’t have anything about her because you didn’t want anything to remind you of your past.

You decide to cook a meal for the boys since you have access to a full kitchen. Usually, you would stay at the motel while one of the Winchesters went to the store, but because you want to be found, you and Dean go to the store. Getting ready to leave, Dean makes sure you have everything you need just in case. He hands you a flask of holy water and asks if you have your knife on you.

“Dean, it’s going to be okay. I’m good.” You tell him.

“Okay, but you don’t leave my side. For anything.” He tells you in a stern voice.

You step beside him and wrap your arms around his waist and put your head on his chest. “Nothing is going to happen to me.”

“I know it won’t.” He tells you, pulling away.

“Sam, we are leaving. Make sure you have the devil’s traps set up after we leave.” Dean calls to Sam.

“I got it. Go get some food and I will take care of this.” He tells the two of you.

Driving to the store, you pass your old job and a bar that you go to on occasion. You point out some of the people that are out taking walks and the various buildings around town. Thankfully, you live just down the street from the discount store. Being on your own meant, cutting corners where you could and shopping at the discount grocery store was one way to cut costs.

As soon as you enter, a woman walks up to you. She is one of the women who work in your office building, but you have never talked to her before.

“Y/N? Oh my God. Where have you been?” She asks you as if you have been friends for your whole life. She eyes Dean when she finishes asking her question.

“Oh, I uh was on an unannounced extended vacation.” You tell her being polite. You see her eyeing Dean. “This is my boyfriend, Dean.” You introduce him.

“Hi, I’m Alice. I work with Y/N. It’s nice to meet you, but may I say, you are far too good looking to be mixed up with someone like Y/N. No offense dear.” She tells you.

“haha she’s a jokester. She has the entire office laughing most of the time.” You tell Dean, trying to cover for the lack of tact that Alice always has.

“Well, I see nothing remotely funny about what you said. Alice, is it? Well, Alice, I think you should mind your own damn business.” Dean tells her heatedly.

“What did you just …” She starts before you cut her off. “Well! It was nice seeing you, but we need to get going. Tell everyone I said hey.” You tell her before you grab Dean’s arm and start walking away.

“What the hell was that?” He asks you.

“Nothing.” You try to let it blow over.

“Really? Cause it didn’t look like nothing.” He tries to coax you into explaining.

“Alice just doesn’t have a filter. She always says the most horrible things, but no one stands up to her. Honestly, most of the things she says is true, she just doesn’t know when it is socially acceptable to say certain things.” You try to explain.

“Well she’s a bitch and no one is going to put you down like that.” He tells you.

You start to gather the things you need and as you are in one of the isles, you have a feeling that someone is watching you. You try to be subtle about looking around you and you see someone hide behind the isle when you look over your shoulder. You quietly clear your throat and grab for your holy water. Dean looks at you and sees what you are doing. He tenses almost immediately and looks around. You nod over to the side of the isle and he pulls you behind him.

Walking quietly, he moves to the end of the isle and you follow close behind him. When he reaches the end, he whips around the side and grabs the person. He throws them against the shelves and puts Ruby’s knife to their throat. “Why are you following us?!” Dean asks.

“I just. I saw Y/N and I wanted to say hello, but she looked busy, so I was going to wait to say anything until she wasn’t busy. Please don’t hurt me.” The person says. It takes you a second to realize who the person is. His name is Rick and he used to go running at the same park you jogged in. You had talked to him a few times when he needed a rest and jogged next to you for a minute or two.

“Dean, wait.” You tell him. You look at the man and think for a second. You never see anyone you know in this store and suddenly now, you see not one, but two people you know? This doesn’t make sense. You take out your holy water and open the cap. You splash a little onto him and breathe a sigh of relief when nothing happens.

“He’s clean.” You tell Dean.

“What the hell was that?” Rick asks you as Dean releases him.

“Sorry, I’m just a bit jumpy lately. A lot has happened since I saw you last. I’m sorry, but we need to go.” You apologize.

You pull Dean away before another word is spoken. Deciding that you don’t want to be here for another second, you gather the last of what you need and check out. Heading to the Impala, you tell Dean, “Something isn’t right. I never see people I know at this store. They mostly live on the other side of town.” Maybe you are just going crazy, you think.

Dean nods at you. “Well, we got word out that you are back in town. So, game on.”

\---------------------------------------------

You get back to the apartment and you see that Sam has set up the devil’s trap. You put the bags on the counter and start making dinner. The boys are in the living room discussing something about Dick Roman that you ignore. One problem at a time, honestly. After you put the food on, you decide to head to the bathroom. When you are washing your hands, you reach for a towel but can’t find one. Weird, you usually always have a towel hanging for drying your hands. Sighing, you go over to the cabinet and open it.

Looking in, you see all your toiletries, but one thing sticks out to you. Tampons. You have been so busy that you have not been keeping track of your weeks. You think back for a moment and count the weeks.

Your body goes numb when you realize that you are late. Like two weeks late. It wouldn’t mean much usually because you never have sex. But this time is different because you and Dean have shared a bed multiple times. You chastise yourself for even thinking this could mean something because you have always used protection.

Except the first time. It happened so fast that you and Dean hadn’t thought about it, but honestly what are the odds? You sit down on the toilet and try not to hyperventilate.

Son of a bitch!


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovelies!
> 
> I want to say thank you to everyone who has commented and sent kudos. They honestly make my day.

You try to calm yourself down enough to be able to go back into the kitchen. You needed to find out one way or the other. Shit. What are you going to do if you are pregnant? How is Dean going to react? Shit. You are not ready for this. With everything else going on, this is the worst thing that can happen. There is a small part of you that says, ‘at least it is with Dean and not Andrew’. You take a few deep breaths and make a plan.

You head out into the living room and do your best to put on a smile. “Hey, guys. I need to head back to the store. I forgot to pick up something.”

Dean starts to get up but you stop him. “Sam, do you want to go with me this time? Get out of the house? Dean, can you make sure that the noodles don’t get overcooked?” You ask.

The boys give you confused looks but you just ignore them. “I thought it would be nice so spend some time with Sam, that’s all.” You smile at them.

Shrugging, Sam gets up and follows you. “We’ll be back.”

“Hey, don’t let her out of your sight. Got it?” Dean warns his brother.

“Do you think I’m an idiot? … Don’t answer that.” Sam tells his brother.

You leave with Sam and drive to the store. Getting to the isle you need, you turn to Sam. “Can you give me a minute to grab something?” You ask. He looks at you with a raised eyebrow and then looks at the isle.

“Oh.” He says, and you know he thinks you need to get some feminine products. “I’ll uh, I’ll be right here.”

You walk down the isle and make it look like you are looking at the different kinds of tampons. You thank God that the pregnancy tests are right next to the feminine hygiene products. You reach for a container and then quickly grab a test and put it into your pocket when Sam looks around to see if anyone is following you.

You walk up to Sam and try to act embarrassed. “Do you mind if I take a trip to the bathroom? It won’t take long.”

Sam looks uncomfortable, but he says, “Sure, uh I’ll wait outside the door.”

He walks you to the door and you go in. Thankfully they had the First Response kind that is ready in one minute. You go into the stall and do what needs to be done. You set the test on the counter and wash your hands. Then there is nothing left for you to do other than wait.

One minute has never seemed so long. You are in agony waiting to see your fate. You look at your watch every ten seconds and finally, you know the test is done. You reach out a shaking hand and pick up the test.

Holy Fuck. You almost burst into tears, because you have no idea what you are going to do. It’s funny how an extra line can bring your world crashing down.

\-----------------------------------------------------

You are sitting in the Impala with Sam. After you stuck the pregnancy test into your pocket, you snuck the bar code off the test box, so you could pay for it. Thank God for self-check-out. You are biting on your lip and you know you are not being subtle, but you can’t help it.

“Hey, can I ask you something without it being weird?” Sam asks you.

“Sure.” You tell him without looking in his direction.

“Is there something you want to tell me? That maybe you need to tell Dean, but you feel like you can’t?” He asks.

Your head whips to face him. “What are you talking about?” You ask, worried.

Sam shifts uncomfortably in his seat. “I… I saw what you grabbed and saw you pay for it. Did something happen?” He asks, hesitantly.

The blood drains from your face. “What do you think I bought?” You ask in a whisper.

Sam glances at you. “A, uh, a test. A pregnancy test. Look, I know it’s none of my business but you’re my friend and he’s my brother and I know when something is up. All I’m saying is, I’m here is you need to talk.”

Tears fill your eyes, and you swallow, trying to find your voice. “I don’t know what to do.” You tell him, and you can tell, he immediately understands.

“You need to tell Dean.” He says, as if it were a simple answer.

You shake your head. “What if he gets mad at me? What if he doesn’t want the baby? What if …”

“He will want the baby.” Sam says, cutting you off. “Look, Dean has always wanted to be a father and a while ago, he got that chance but then it was taken away from him. Maybe this is a second chance for him.”

You sniffle. “Can you just not say anything? Please? Let me figure out how to do this.”

“Whatever you decide, I will back your play. But you need to tell him.” He tells you.

“Thank you, Sam” You whisper to him.

You pull up to the apartment building and get out of the car. You take a deep breath when you walk toward the door. Sam stops walking and you see him look around. His shoulders tense and he turns to you. “Run!” He yells.

Without figuring out why, you feel your legs moving rapidly as you run to the apartment. You don’t look behind you, but you hear Sam fighting with something. Before you can get too far, there is a figure that materializes in front of you. Those eyes. You have not seen eyes like that in a long time and they make a shiver run down your spine before everything goes black.

\--------------------------------------

Dean POV

Dean glances at the clock again. You and Sam have been gone for over an hour and he has a bad feeling sitting in his gut. He reaches for his phone to call Sam again when it rings. He looks at the caller I.D. and sees that it is his brother. Irritated and worried, he answers the phone.

“Sammy, about time. What’s going on? Are you guys okay?” Dean asks.

“That remains up to you, Dean.” A voice that Dean has never heard, answers him.

Dean clenches his jaw and tenses his body. “Who is this?” He asks in a firm tone.

“That’s not important. What is important is that you have a choice to make. Now, I know all about you. Heard a lot of stories about you from Alastair and I have to say, I’m a little underwhelmed.” The voice says.

“So. You must be Aelric. Funny, I never heard about you until you kidnapped an innocent girl looking for a whore. Tell me, what do you want with Ellen?” Dean asks.

“Funny you should bring Ellen up. Who calls me out of the blue other than Ellen. Now, I did want to stab her in the face but when she told me that Dick Roman contacted her about you, it peaked my interest. Apparently, you and your brother are on a list. Did you know that? He wants the both of you dead. But I want to have some fun. Now, listen to how this is going to work. You have a choice to make. I have your brother and your slut. The thing is, Dick wants you and your brother dead, and I know Ellen is dying to get her hands on Y/N. So here is your choice. I love this bit. You have the chance to come get one of them. You come alone and see if you can save them. Honestly, I just want the chance to get a piece of you. I will either kill Sam or turn Y/N over to Ellen. Choose quickly now.”

Dean’s heart rate is through the roof and he is pacing the room. There is no way he is going to choose between the two of you. He is going to bust in there and kill everyone. But first, he needs to know you and Sam are alive. “Before we talk about anything, I want proof of life.”

“Fine, I guess that is fair. Honestly, do you think I would lie to you?” Aelric asks.

“Yes.” Dean says simply.

Dean hears Aelric talking to someone. There is silence for a long time and then he hears a punch land and Sam cry out in pain. “There’s the brother. Stubborn little bastard, oh I would love to break him. But alas, we have no time for that right now.” He says.

“What about Y/N?” Dean asks. He needs to hear your voice. He should have gone with you and Sam, but he let his guard down and now you are in this situation.

“Dean?” He hears your voice. You sound scared and it makes him want to kill whoever it is that is making you afraid.

“I’m here. I’m coming to get you, don’t be scared.” Dean tells you.

“Dean, please … AH!” He hears you cry out and he know that bastard hurt you for talking too much.

“Hey, leave her alone, you dick! Keep your hands off of her or I swear I will kill you.” He growls into the phone. Aelric just laughs into the phone.

“So, Dean. What’s it going to be? Should I slice Sammy’s throat or give your bitch over to her psycho mommy? Hurry now, or I might end up losing my patience and kill them both.” Aelric warns Dean.

“Why even give me the choice?” He asks.

“Because I can and it’s fun to watch people destroy themselves. It’s all part of the game. Now, what will it be? Last chance.” Aelric warns.

Dean walks around the room thinking over his options. No matter what he chooses, someone will get hurt and it will be his fault. Either way, Aelric is going to die.

“Fine, you bastard.” Dean knows he is going back to Hell for the sentence he is about to say. He will find a way to make it right when he can. “Leave Sammy alone.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will update a new chapter tonight. Please hang with me. We only have a few more chapters to go, so all the things are happening!


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (See end for chapter notes)

You are tied to a chair and there is blood coming out of the cut on your arm. That bastard cut your arm just to make you scream. Sam is tied up across the room and you know he is trying to get out of the bonds that hold him. He whispers to you that it is going to be okay and you try to believe him.

“Hey, look at me.” He tells you. You lift your eyes to his and see that he is staring at you. “You are going to be okay.” You shake your head because you do not trust yourself to speak. As much as you wanted to pretend that you are calm, you can feel yourself shaking.

You don’t know what happened or who has you. All you know is that you were knocked out by a person with black eyes, which meant a demon. Your suspicions were confirmed when a man comes into the room holding a cell phone to his ear. He passes you and hold to phone toward Sam.

“Talk.” He tells him.

Sam looks at the demon and scoffs. Losing patience, the demon sighs and punches Sam in the stomach which makes him grunt. “There’s the brother. Stubborn little bastard, oh I would love to break him. But alas, we have no time for that right now.” He says into the phone. His eyes shift to you, and you know he is talking to Dean. “Your turn. Talk.” He holds the phone next to you.

“Dean?” You say. You know you sound awful. Your voice comes out sounding timid and shaky.

“I’m here. I’m coming to get you, don’t be scared.” You hear him say. How could you not be scared? It did bring you some comfort that Dean knows you are alive. That means he will be looking for you.

“Dean please …” You start to beg, but the demon punches you in the face making you scream in pain. You hear Sam scream your name.

You hear the demon talking but you can’t make out what he is saying. You are trying to control the pain that is settling in your cheek. The demon laughs and walks over to you and Sam.

“You know, this is priceless. What a glorious day? I have been looking for your mother for months and she finally contacts me. You see, when I lost you,” he looks at you, “I thought I was never going to have leverage against that bitch to make her give me what I want. But then she comes to me and says she will hand over the artifact if I give her you.” He comes over to you and lightly brushes your cheek with the back of his hand making you flinch away.

You try to keep up with what he is saying, but he is talking fast, so you have to concentrate to understand. Your mother still wanted you. Oh, God. Is he going to give you to her?

“And you.” He turns to Sam. “She says that Dick Roman wants you and your brother pushing daisies. Let’s just say, she gave me that tip as a down payment for my reward. So suddenly, I not only have the one bargaining chip I need to get what I have been searching for, I also have a way to get in Dick’s good graces.” He smiles and the two of you like he is your best friend. “Thank you. Really.”

“What about Crowley’s no contact rule?” Sam challenges him.

“Oh. Do you really think that the King of Hell has any clout over me? If I help Dick Roman, he will help me. Think of it as a potential promotion opportunity if I can prove myself to the new boss. Times are a-changing ladies and gentlemen. And I can promise you, Crowley won’t be in charge for very long.”

“Yeah, well. Too bad you are one Winchester short. Dean won’t walk into this trap, and you know it.” Sam tells the Aelric.

“Ah! That’s what I thought but then I realized that he would come if I put the two of you in danger. I gave him the choice to either come get his brother or his slut. Of course, when he gets here, he will be captured, but I like this game.” He turns to you. “By the way, he chose to save Sam.” He gives you a mocking sad frown.

“What?” You ask in a breathless tone. It feels like the wind has been knocked out of you and tears threaten to escape your eyes.

“Oh yeah. Told him he could save one of you and he chose Sam, almost instantly. Guess you don’t matter to him all that much, huh? How does it feel that he doesn’t want you or his spawn?” He says glancing at your stomach.

Your blood goes cold and it is becoming hard to breathe.

“He’s lying.” Sam tells you. “Don’t listen to him, Y/N.” He lets out a grunt when Aelric punches him again.

“Oh, Sam. I wouldn’t lie about this. The truth is far too much fun.” He says, laughing. “Now, don’t you kids go anywhere. I have a surprise for you, Y/N.”

You hold yourself together until he walks out of the room. As soon as the door shuts, you lose it and tears cascade down your face. Sam tries to console you, but for some reason, you know Aelric is telling the truth. Why else would he have let Dean hear both of your voices? Maybe he gave him an impossible choice and he had to choose or both of you would die. Maybe he is biding his time. Or, a voice whispers to you, maybe he wants an easy way to get rid of you.  

“Y/N? It’s going to be okay. Dean is going to come get us and we are getting out of here. You are going to be okay.” Sam tells you.

“I’m scared, Sam.” Your voice faulters.

\--------------------------------------------

You sit for a long time. Enough that your arms start to lose feeling with the lack of circulation running through them and your bottom starts to go numb from sitting on it without moving. Your tears have long dried up and you are staring at the floor. Sam is still trying to work out of his knots, but you know if he hasn’t gotten out by now, there is no hope of him escaping.

How terrible it is, you think, to find someone and fall in love just to be torn away from them. What’s worse, is when that person trades your life for someone else’s. Though, you couldn’t be too hard on Dean. Sam is his brother after all. Honestly, what did you think was going to happen in the end? You know that you are stupid if you thought for a second that Dean would not do everything he could to save Sam.

You hear footsteps and your heart leaps hoping it is Dean, coming to save you and Sam. The steps come closer and you can tell there are more than one set of footsteps. Maybe he brought someone to help him. The door opens and your heart drops into your stomach.

“Mother?” You ask in astonishment.

She walks over to you, eyes not leaving you. Her eyes narrow ever so slightly when she sees you and you can see the murder that is hiding behind them. She looks just like you remembered, tall and thin with her hair pulled tightly in a ponytail. She looks severe and terrifying. Memories flash through your head and you start to shake.

“Just as promised.” Aelric says. “Now, what I’m owed.” He holds out his hand to her, obviously expecting something to be handed over.

“Yes, it is time I paid you for your services.” She smirks and reaches into her pocket. You watch her slip her arm behind her but instead of reaching into her pocket, she lets a blade slip into her grasp. Before he knows what hits him, Ellen forces the blade into his chest. You know it won’t do anything to the demon, so you are shocked when you see orange light protruding from the wound. You look closer at the blade and see that it is long and chrome. An angel blade. How the hell did she get one of those?

“Ah.” Ellen sighs when Aelric’s body crashes to the floor. “He always did expect too much. It’s funny considering he is the one that introduced me to the idea of being betrayed.” She turns to you and flashes deadly eyes. “We have so much to catch up on, Darling.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will probably be posting the last three chapters tomorrow at some point. There is not much more to go. I really hope you guys are enjoying this!


	24. Chapter 24

Your mother stands in front of you and you have no idea how to react. You know you are terrified, but you are also confused. Why has she not killed you yet? She reaches her hand out and touches your face, eyes searching yours.

“Well, you look like your father, useless and pathetic. So how is it that you killed the love of my life?” She asks you.

“Leave her alone.” Sam yells. She focuses her attention on him for a moment.

“So, are you the big strong man that has been sleeping with my daughter? No. It’s not you, is it? It’s the other one. I thought she would have shitty taste in men, but I never thought someone would actually want her. Though, she is a good lay, according to my sweet Andrew.”

“You bitch.” Sam scoffs. “How can you call yourself her mother? You’re disgusting.” His voice is laced with hatred.

She walks over to him and sits on his lap. Her hands grip his face and Sam tries to get out of her grasp. “You should value the fact that you are still breathing. I have plans for you, Sam. I would hate to scar that pretty face of yours before the time is right.”

She stands up and turns to you. She opens her mouth to speak, but before she can Sam yells at her. “Hey, I’m not done with you yet.” You know he is trying to keep the attention on him, so she will leave you alone. Sam would never be able to truly know how grateful you are in this moment. “You’re just a woman, how can you control so many demons?” He asks her.

Her head tilts to the side, deciding whether to answer him or not. Lucky for the two of you, her pride and ego are in need of bolstering, so she obliges. “A charm here, some sex there. Playing the part of the victim when they want it and being willing to kill when it is needed. Knowing the people who have power and all their desires. It’s not hard. It’s more attention than I ever got from my husband, the lowlife.” She spits.

So, she is crazy, you think. You finally find your voice. “I thought you loved him?” You ask.

“Who? Your daddy?” Her laugh echoes around the chamber. “Oh, that is priceless. How could I love someone who loved you more than he loved me? I was everything for him and once you came along, he betrayed me. I took it. Because that is what I was supposed to do but then I realized that I didn’t need him.”

You look at her in confusion and she smiles at you. “Go ahead. Ask. You know you want to.” She baits you.

“Y/N, don’t.” Sam’s voice is flat, and he is looking at you with hard eyes. It takes you a second to realize what she is talking about.

“Why did you kill him? I know you are jealous and all that, but why kill him? Why not just leave him?” You ask her in a firm voice.

“You are going to love this bit. He was trying to protect you, so I shredded his chest and felt his blood drip down my fingers. And you know, he wasn’t the last one? Wonder why no one you knew over the years got close to you? It has been so fun killing everyone who saw good in you.” She cackles.

You feel like your heart is being ripped out of you. “I am going to kill you.” You promise.

“We’ll see about that, darling. Until then, enjoy the show.” She smiles before turning to Sam.

\------------------------------------------

Sam is bleeding from various cuts on his body. Ellen has taken her time with him and every cut she inflicts, she makes sure you know that it is your fault.

“If you were never born, this wouldn’t be happening.”

“This is your fault.”

“He would not be in this situation if you had just killed yourself like I told you to.”

Her words echo in your mind between his screams. You know he is trying to keep quiet, but she is cutting him deeper with every slice. Dean, where are you?

You close your eyes, but she screams at you. “Open your eyes, you cunt. You took away the man I loved, and now I am going to take your friend and your lover when he shows up. It’s going to be slow and you are going to watch every second.” You keep your eyes shut, not giving her the satisfaction. That is, until you feel a stab in your shoulder.

Your screams mix with Sam’s protests. She yanks out the blade, causing more pain and you open your eyes. You flinch when her face is mere inches from yours. “If you don’t keep your eyes open, I am going to cut your eyelids off.” She tells whispers viciously.

“Oh, please. Stop talking, it’s really getting on my nerves.” Sam says, giving her his best bitchface.

She turns to him and drives the blade into his leg. He grunts, and you scream his name. You hate that she is hurting him, but you are grateful that she doesn’t have Dean.

“We are just going to wait until your brother gets here and then he is going to see her die. It’s going to be wonderful.” She sounds excited and it fills your throat with bile. “Until then, we are going to see how long you can stay awake.”

“You never loved me.” You try to get her attention away from Sam. He looks like he is in a lot of pain and you want to save him from any more. Even if it costs you.

“What was your first clue?” She asks you sarcastically. “But you know, in my travels, I have met people who have helped me find you again. I need to send Dick Roman a fruit basket. He is the one who told me where you were.”

“Yeah, he is on our list to take out. Right after, you.” You tell her, smirking. You are acting braver than you are. You honestly have no idea how you are going to get out of this.

“Right, enough chit chat, I think.” She starts to move to Sam, but you hear the sliding of the metal door. You feel your arms come free and she pulls you to your feet in front of her. She has your arms pinned behind you and a knife against your skin. In front of you, is the best sight you have ever seen. Dean is standing there with his gun raised. You are going to be okay.

“Sup, Bitch? That’s my woman, you’ve got there.” Dean quips. He can be so stupid sometimes, you think. “You okay, Sweetheart?” You nod to him. “Sammy?” He asks.

“Dean shoot her.” He says without preamble.

“So, is this your big protector?” She asks you.

“You’re not getting out of here.” You tell her, smiling. “I win. You, bitch.” 

She hesitates for a few seconds. You know, she is considering her options, but you know that she is going to die no matter what she does.

“Guess again.” She hisses before she drives the blade into your stomach, quickly pulls it out and stabs you again.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Lovelies!
> 
> I didn't want you guys to wait too long because of that cliff hanger, so I went ahead and wrote the next chapter before I posted 24.

“No!” Dean screams as you feel yourself slide to the ground. You hear his gun go off and you hear the thud of a body land next to you. You don’t feel anything at first and you have enough will to look at the person next to you. Your mother is laying there, with a bullet hole in her forehead. There is blood trickling out of the wound and she is not breathing. It’s finally over. She is gone, and no one is after you. You can finally just be with Dean, but first you need to make sure that Sam is okay.

You see Dean throw a knife at Sam, so he can cut himself loose, just in case someone else comes in. He runs to you and it takes you a second to realize why his face is pale. It is kind of like when you put your hand on a hot stove. At first you don’t feel the pain, but then you do, and it is excruciating. Your hands come to your stomach and there is blood seeping through your fingers. You can feel yourself breathing heavily and when you put pressure on your wound, it hurts worse than anything you have ever felt.

Dean is next to you, hands hovering over your body. He moves your hands and pulls your shirt up to expose your wounds. His face falls and he yells for Sam. “Sweetheart, you’re going to be okay. We just need to put some pressure on this. It’s okay. You’re going to be okay.” He says rapidly. He is trying to calm you down because if your heart rate increases you will bleed faster.

“Sam, go get the car. Now! We need to get her to a hospital!” Dean yells at his brother. Your breathing is coming out in gasps, the pain is so bad.

“Dean.” You croak. “You came.”

“Of course, I came. I’m not leaving you, baby. We are going to get you to the hospital and you are going to be okay. I need to pick you up though, and it’s going to hurt. I need you to keep fighting. Keep pressure on your stomach, Sweetheart.” You groan at the pain. “I know it hurts, baby.” He slides his arm under your shoulders and your knees. He starts to lift you, but pain strikes through your core, making a scream burst from your lips.

He stops moving you and sets you in his lap. “I know. We need to move, though. Take a deep breath, Sweetheart. Here we go.” He lifts you again, making you scream. It feels like your flesh is being torn apart with every movement and blood pours through your fingers.

“Dean!” You cry. He looks down at your stomach and sees the blood. There is a puddle of it and it is dripping to the ground leaving a trail behind you. He gets you out of the door and to the car that is waiting for you. Sam is behind the wheel and his eyes betray his shock. Dean climbs in the backseat with you and cradles you in his arms.

“Sam, go, now!” He yells. “Y/N, keep your eyes open, Sweetheart. We are going to get you to a hospital. You’re going to be okay.” He chants.

You can’t keep your head up and your rest it on his arm that is cradling you. Turning your head, you look into his eyes. They are so beautiful. “I love you.” You tell him.

He searches your face and his shakes his head. “Don’t do that. Don’t you dare try to give up on me. Dammit, fight, Y/N. I can’t lose you!”

You feel tears trail down your face. The pain is become less intense, so you are thankful for that, at least. “Kiss me?” You ask him.

He rubs his thumb in circles on your check and bends down to press his lips on yours. You feel his lips twitch when they move against yours. He pulls away and you just stare at him.

“I never … thought someone would care … about me.” You start.

“Shh. Stop talking. I know.” He tries to console you.

“I wouldn’t … trade you … for anything. I love you.” You feel your words coming slower and you are scared that you won’t have enough time to say what you need to tell him.

“I’m sorry.” He tells you. “Sam drive faster!” He yells to his brother.

“I’m going as fast as I can! Hang in there, Y/N!” Sam calls back. “We are almost there!”

You grip Dean’s arm and you know it’s not a firm grip. He notices and looks at you with terrified eyes.

“I can’t … feel it … anymore.” You say and try to smile. You feel your arm drop to your side, not being able to keep it up anymore. “I’m scared.”

Your eyes feel heavy and you fight to keep them open.

“No! Open your eyes! Please, I love you. Please, Sweetheart, don’t leave me. We can fix this. I … I can fix this. I love you!” The intensity in his voice gives you enough strength to fight a little harder. You have to tell him.

You open your eyes enough to look at Dean again. You smile and tell him. “Not… your… fault. Love … you.”

You feel your eyes close and the pain goes away completely.

\---------------------------------------------------------------

Dean’s POV

Dean shakes you. “Y/N?! Open your eyes, Sweetheart. Sam!” There are tears running down his face. This can’t be happening. You didn’t deserve this. This is all his fault.

He grabs your wrist and checks your pulse. He doesn’t feel anything. Not even a blip of life. He should have tried harder. He can bring you back. Maybe there is still time. You can’t have lost that much blood, right?

He tries to wake you again and you lay limp in his arms. He hugs your body to his chest and wraps his arms around you. He feels tears running down his face. “Dammit!” He screams. “Sam, she’s gone. I … I think, she’s gone. She …” He can’t finish his sentence. He feels the car slow to a stop and he looks around, expecting to see the hospital. The car is stopped on the side of the road with nothing around for miles.

“What the hell, Sam? Hospital! Now!” He yells at his brother.

“Dean.” Sam says, softly. “The hospital is an hour away. We won’t get there in time. She’s gone.”

“No! She can’t be!” He growls.

Sam looks at his brother with pity. “I’m sorry, Dean.”

Dean’s eyes flick back and forth trying to think about something that he can do but nothing comes to him. He grabs your body tighter and his hand brushes your side. He feels something hard in your pocket and takes it out.

It is the pregnancy test that you hid in the store earlier. He looks baffled and Sam tries to stop him, but Dean pulls his hand away. He looks at it and sees the two little lines.

The scream of anguish that comes out of him, is the most broken sound Sam has ever heard. Dean sobs and rocks your body back and forth, not caring that he is falling apart.


	26. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Lovelies!
> 
> (See end for series notes).

Dean’s POV

It takes Sam a long time to start convincing Dean to let go of you. Dean sits unmoving for hours, holding you. He knows he has to do right by you, but he can’t let you go. He gazes at your face and sees the curve of your lips and how your eyelashes curve and brush your cheek. He looks at your body and sees the bruises and blood. He thinks about how, just a few days before, this same body was curled in his arms.

In his right hand, he grips the pregnancy test. He has lost people he loves before, but you are different. You carrying his child, makes it different. He let you in and fell in love. He thinks about how you made him feel, all the protectiveness and safety.

“Dean.” Sam tries to get his brother’s attention. “We need to move her and give her a burial. She’s gone.” His voice sounds monotone when he speaks, but he doesn't care.

“If you touch her, I will kill you.” Dean tells his brother, ice in his voice.

Sam gives Dean, a look of concern and walks away to give him more time. He knows Dean is taking this hard, especially when he found out about the baby that would no longer happen. He walks to the road and lets himself feel his grief. He sits on the side of the Impala and his shoulders shake as he crumbles. His tears fall down his face and he runs his hand through his hair, pushing the strands out of his face. He feels numbness creep throughout his body.

Dean sits with you for two more hours. Not letting you go, even when his arms go numb. He blames himself he knows you would still be alive if he was not in your life. He should have dropped you off at a hospital when they found you and left you alone. Maybe the feelings he had for you were not worth it. He tried so hard to protect you, and he couldn’t. He failed again.

His eyes never leave your body. He wants to memorize every line in your face. Every now and again, tears escape, and he has a hard time breathing. He tries to keep them in, but his lips quiver and he is powerless to stop the tide.

He finally knows that he needs to move. He doesn’t want to say goodbye, but he knows someone else is going to pay for what happened to you. He leans down and kisses you, feeling your cold lips against his sends him into another bought of tears. His body shakes as his head bows over you. Sighing heavily, he slides out from under you and carefully lays your body on the seat. He looks at himself and sees he is covered in your blood. He places the pregnancy test in his pocket, the only evidence he will have that you and he loved each other. He looks down at his hands to see they are stained with blood and he knows that he will never be able to wash them clean.

He walks over to Sam, and slowly sits next to him. Sam puts his hand on Dean’s shoulder and gives it a squeeze. Dean’s voice comes out raspy and unclear at first, “She … she deserves …” He clears his throat and licks his top lip before trying again. “She deserves a hunter’s funeral.” Sam nods to his brother.

They sit in silence, gathering their thoughts. Sam is surprised by the venom in Dean’s voice when he talks, but he agrees wholeheartedly.

“Dick Roman did this.” Dean tells him. He clenches his jaw and hardens his gaze. “He is going to pay for what happened to her … Come on, Sammy. We’ve got work to do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. First I want to say thank you for reading my fic. It is my first one and I plan to write more. 
> 
> There was a very small chance that the reader was going to live but it was only like a 10% chance. I have seen a TON of feel good fics that end well and I wanted to mix it up a bit. Honestly, things go crappy for most of the side characters in Supernatural and I wanted to stay true to that. Also, Sam and Dean choose each other constantly and I wanted to portray that as well.  
> I hope you enjoyed the feels and I hope I didn't scare you away from my works in general. I will write things will happy endings just not this time around. 
> 
> Again, thank you to everyone who commented and gave kudos. I love you guys. You kept me motivated to keep going with this story.  
> -AKF
> 
> This is the inspiration for the title.  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQfKu9ZoVZU


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